I have made some of the best friends of my adult life because of this blog. Sodapop, Laci and Lucy are the sisters I never knew I wanted and the type of friend that I could call at literally any hour of the day … and I think each of us has sent out at least one SOS to the others.

Because of this blog, I’ve become connected to people I never would have met otherwise; there are far too many people for me to even begin to name any more names. I don’t differentiate anymore between my “online” friends and my “real life” friends, because the lines have been blurred. I trust you all with my innermost thoughts, my deepest secrets, my highest highs and my lowest lows.

Thank you. For everything.

And Happy Blogaversary to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I worked out again today and it was the first time I remember feeling strong. I was doing all sorts of shit, mostly involving the bosu ball (I think because Kara the trainer knows I hate it!) … like kneeling on it, with my hands on the mat and doing push-ups; kneeling on it and doing bicep curls while also trying to lift my toes off the floor behind me … basically I was kneeling on that thing half of the hour I worked out. UGH. The hardest things, though, were … well, I don’t even know what they’re called. I was on the mat on my stomach and lifted up my legs behind me. Then using the palms of my hands, I pushed my upper body upwards, keeping my elbows as close to my body as possible. Totally felt that in the triceps. These weight-bearing exercises are a bitch. I was literally dripping sweat onto the mat. I thought that was gross but Kara was excited ha ha.

I decided on a title for my blogaversary post … but that’s about it. Maybe this weekend I’ll do a video post. Oooh la la!

And now I’m going to bed. 10:16 p.m. and I’m ready to drop …

I’ve been friends with Deb for nearly 6 years. We were work friends. The friendship originated because we worked so closely together and well, we both liked to talk. We both got divorced during that timeframe and she was really invaluable during my divorce. It seemed like every day I’d call her extension, crying that I was out of kleenex and could she bring me some tissues because I didn’t want to leave my cubicle with my make-up smeared around my eyes. And then when she finally decided to get help for her depression, she called me one morning and I cried with her on the phone. We’ve been through a lot.

But now, things are different. We don’t work together any more and we don’t have much in common without work. I stopped talking to her for a while, for my own sanity, because she was constantly complaining about her husband, her kids, his kids … it got to the point where I had expressed my feelings, told her she either had to do something to fix the situation or think about moving on … and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Things have evened out a bit since then.

The latest topic, though, is my upcoming surgery. She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand why I want to do this, why I feel like I NEED to do this. She keeps trying to talk me out of it, not listening to my when I explain, as patiently as I can, that I have been diligently going through the process for months now, meeting first with my doctor, attending the informational seminar, meeting the surgeon, attending classes, exercising … I don’t know why. I don’t see how a thin Monique could be a threat to her. But maybe I am, I don’t know.

I’ve been lucky, so far the overwhelming majority of my friends and family members have been positive. My dad was about the only person who was apprehensive at first but he was worried about me … and he is very overweight himself. The day after I told him about the surgery he told me that I was doing the right thing and I was smart to do it now, while I was still young. That makes me sad, even now I’m tearing up; he’s only 63, but I can’t make him have the surgery.

Anyway I didn’t mean for this to be a downer post … but it’s how I’m feeling now so that’s what you get! I can’t believe my 3-year “blogaversary” is on Thursday. Usually I do something semi-spectacular; I don’t know what I’ll come up with … I suppose I should start thinking!

*I’m not a big poetry fan but I love me some ee cummings, maybe because we have the same birthday … 80 years apart lol. This poem is my favorite.

I have so much that I need to do in the next month, especially at work. UGH. It’s going to fly by.

I had a kick-ass workout this evening. I am going to sleep well tonight!

Last night I watched my lectures then had to get out … it looked sooooo nice outside, and it was. About 80 at 7 p.m. and sunny. I went to the unfortunately named Old Time Pottery and bought a metal sculpture thing to hang on the wall.

After that, it was pretty much downhill. I watched TV and generally just screwed around instead of working on my paper … hence the reason why I have the bulk of it left to write. At least now it is about to start pouring rain (again) so I won’t be able to go outside and play.

I went out on a limb and signed up for a couple of events at the church I sometimes go to … they have a 30/40s group that has actually had some interesting events that I couldn’t go to (like alpaca shearing!). I signed up for a feng shui class on the 9th and then a SQUARE DANCING class on the 23rd. Hahahahahahaha. The last time I square danced was the torture of 8th grade gym class … oh, the humanity! Our normally sex-segregated classes were combined into one, with the two gym teachers sadistically deciding who would pick first, guys or girls. Then the unlucky “winners” would have to approach the partner of their choice … OMG. CAN YOU IMAGINE! WE WERE 13! Then again, I guess it was better to choose than to stand around waiting to be picked. UGH. I am giving myself horrible flashbacks. Must. Stop. Thinking. of. Junior. High! Anyway, you KNOW I will be taking photos at square dancing … and it’s a Wednesday night at 7 p.m., if anyone wants to join me! lol!

Now, I am flirting online with the “enemy” … a REPUBLICAN! Hahahahahahahahaha. Eh, he’s cute. Whatev. Maybe I should point him to the Red State Update and ask him if he will have Miss Lucy’s babies, Fuckit and McCain. LOL LOL LOL

I went grocery shopping today — my pantry was BARE. I spent about $150 (some of it on a few t-shirts and undies at Walmart) but am stocked up for the foreseeable future on WW meals, Crystal Light and Special K with strawberries. I also made a diet cake, something I haven’t in a while … it’s just a box cake mix and a can of diet pop. Mix it together and bake. Voila! I don’t remember the calorie count but it’s really low, basically whatever is in the cake mix without everything else added to it. I made white cake with diet ginger ale (Vernors of course!).

Gah.

That shit is hard! I did it all except for the cardio; I couldn’t do the full amount because I was just whipped. But I got all the strength training in, including glute lifts on the evil Bosu ball and lifting weights while going up and over the aerobic step (with 3 risers) over and over and over again lol.

I’m glad I did it though. Going to the gym keeps me out of trouble.