Last night I worked on school-related stuff until 10 p.m. Blech. I just now finished watching my 5th and final lecture for this week. I also wrote a discussion posting that was due today and read through the marketing research for our online simulation and crunched some numbers for that. I have another conference call tonight at 8:30, and I still have to start in on my book (60 pages to read). Le sigh.
This afternoon I ended up emailing Jason back. He replied immediately, as usual. More hockey discussions, of course, then I mentioned I got fried dill pickle chips for lunch (coincidentally from the same restaurant we went to on our first date lol). Maybe 3 or 4 emails went back and forth, that’s it. I told my coworker Mary that if I felt cuter today I would have gone to his work, marched in and called him out on his hockey bullshit.
Last night I re-read my blog posts from last June and July. One of the posts contained his explanatory email. I don’t think he meant to be a total douche, just like I didn’t mean to scream every obscenity that I know at him lol (ok I meant that at the time), but it was still a disaster. Dizz-ass-ter. So I don’t know. I don’t really foresee these chit-chats going anywhere. I don’t even know if there would still be a spark there. We took so much time and energy from each other, it was this constant whirlwind of activity, all revolving around each other. I really didn’t do anything other than spend time with him or text him when we were apart.
Regardless, I’m not feeling like I want to stick my neck out there for anyone right now, at least any man. Today a coworker asked me about MM and was shocked that I hadn’t talked to him in more than a week. I was just kind of indignant, you know, like how can he ignore me? ME! And really, the reason why I haven’t called him out on his bullshit is that I don’t want to hear the reason why. I don’t want to hear that it’s because of me; I’d rather just keep on thinking that he’s a douche. I still hear Mark’s words in my head and that break up was more than 2 years ago — he told me that I was everything he should be attracted to, but he just wasn’t. Yeah, thanks, big guy. I believe he reiterated that a few times too. The honesty was much appreciated. Not.
I’ve had this song in my head all day. Please do enjoy the great Don’t Stop Believing …
I got another A! I’m so psyched. I finished this class with a 94.4% … it would have been a bit higher had I not spaced a 10 pt assignment (1% of my grade) last week. Oh well. My lovely 4.0 GPA remains intact.
My girl Mary might be coming to the Ville with me this weekend. Then again, she might flake out, who knows. Her birthday is Monday, tho, so if she comes with, we’ll have to get her all drunk and shit. I know, I know, the bitches drink? Shocking!
MM IM’d me this afternoon. It was a very short exchange, at least on my part. The two IMs I sent consisted of four words, total. Two two-word phrases. (Not the two words you’re probably thinking of; we were at work, on work IM.) As I told my friend Jennifer tonight, I have a lot of anger towards him that I am just now recognizing. He is clueless. Motherfucking clueless. Jennifer suggested he take a Miss Manners class for social interaction. I mean, really. If I were to see him, I don’t think I could do anything but scowl, seriously. I’m scowling typing this. And I look much cuter when I am happy and smiling.
What did I do yesterday? Couldn’t tell ya. I was up late Friday night and slept in much later than I had planned yesterday morning. I was supposed to go to the roller derby with my friend Debby but she fucking stood me up! We made the plans earlier in the week, talked Thursdays, then didn’t hear from her Friday or yesterday. WTF? I was not pleased.
Today I have to finish up my last assignment for my international business class, because yo, next week is “spring break”! Which doesn’t mean a damn thing, considering, oh yeah, I still have that 40-hour workweek to contend with. Le sigh. Next class is marketing, I think. At least this should be more up my alley.
I also need to take some movies back to Blockbuster … and of course be home in time for the 3 p.m. start of the Red Wings game! It’s on NBC y’all so no excuses for not watching!!!! If the Wings can win in Nashville, they’ll take the series … otherwise it will go to a nervewracking game 7 in Detroit on Tuesday. Gah!!!! I am too much of a delicate flower for that so I’ll be keeping all my parts/pieces crossed that they pull it out tonight. Wow, that sounds vaguely dirty doesn’t it? That’s what my life has come to … vaguely dirty sports-related statements.
Um yeah. I’m gonna go get another cup of coffee now.
Srsly. THIS PIMPLE WILL NOT GO AWAY. I probably need to see a dermatologist because it looks like cystic acne. Fucking pisses me off. I’m 33! I had perfect skin as a teenager! Oh how I miss that smooth, pretty, glowing skin! Bah!
Anyway. I started a new book last night. I’m addicted. OMG. I cannot get enough of vampire books lately. I think I even dreamt that MM and I were vampires! (Maybe I just want some of the hot sex that was is in the first books I read.)
Miss Sodapop was baptized today. She posted two short videos that Miss Lucy took from the service. She told me her church was large but from the looks of things, it’s a stadium! Jeez Louise! My last church, the one I was active in, had a weekly attendance of about 100!
I am thisclose to being done with my paper. I just need to figure out another “ethical issue” to write about, based on the scenario. Ugh. Then I can start on the assignment that’s due NEXT week, because it’s another long one. I don’t have much planned this week in the evenings, but my time has a way of filling up!
Oh, I created a separate blog for my weight-loss surgery. I freaked poor Mr. Ricardo out, because I sent him the link to the page and I guess I hadn’t mentioned to him that I was pursuing the surgery! I’ll be updating the page more, of course, as things roll along. E-mail me if you want the URL, since it’s not a blog per se, it’s a profile page on another site, really.
I was so busy this morning. I did all sorts of things so that I didn’t have to work on my paper … like clean the kitchen and the toilet, do dishes, put away laundry and even tweeze my ’stache! I do have 2 pages written and I think once I focus again, it shouldn’t take too terribly long. I need to thank God daily for my writing ability because if I couldn’t pull this crap out of my ass, life would be a lot more difficult!
I miss mah bitches. I don’t miss the hangovers that they all had today, though! I was thinking about driving down there tomorrow but with gas prices, my budget allows me to either buy gas to get to KY or to get to/from work next week. Yeah, guess I better stay home.
After I had dinner with MM last week, my mom asked if I had told him about my surgery plans. I haven’t, and I don’t know when I will. I mean, he is a part of my life, but telling him is different than telling my friends. My friends don’t care what I look like (’cept when I’m flashing ‘em all my boobehs at O’Charleys) but a guy I’m dating? That’s totally different. This surgery involves some major life changes for me. No more going out to eat. No booze for quite a while. I’m going to be losing weight and having weird skin for a while (people tell me that at my age, I have the best chance of the skin going back to normal but I’m sure there will still be wobbliness). I am going to have to face my demons and the reasons WHY I overeat.
Oh my God.*Ephiphany moment. Epiphany moment.*I don’t want to tell MM about this surgery because it means admitting that I’m not perfect.
Oh dear Lord. I thought I had moved past all of this wanting-to-look-perfect shit. I guess not. Well, there we go. That’s what I’m going to tell him. Perfect opportunity for me to be vulnerable (not my strong suit) … which means I’m going to be scared as shit! Le sigh. Lesigh lesigh lesigh.
It’s not even 2:30 p.m. and I am so ready for a nap. It’s been one of those days at work … I can’t decide if I want to listen to music or not, drink water or pop, blah blah blah. I’m spacy and ditzy and just don’t want to be here!!!!
I canceled my date last night … I had two assignments due for school and I realized that I just decided to give this guy another try because I was feeling petulant and lonely, ya know? As my mother said, I don’t need to get caught up in anyone else’s drama.
The ex IM’d me today to see if I got his check. I told him I did, then he got all chatty about it, saying he was sorry it was so messed up, blah blah blah. All I could hear was this voice in my head saying “Shut Up Shut Up Why Doesn’t He Shut Up???” LOL I was rather short with him and just stopped responding.
Did I mention I finished my last class with a 95.1%? I booked a massage for next month to celebrate. Even though I have 30 credits to go, I am going to do my damndest to graduate with honors. I didn’t apply myself all that much as an undergrad and just skated by based on my natural abilities. I think I ended up with a 3.33 GPA. Not bad but it could have been better. No time like when I’m actually paying for the degree to do well!
It’s January. In the midwest. And it’s POURING RAIN. There are flood warnings here, tornado warnings to the south. What the hell? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s not snow, but come on! This is craziness!
Oh hells yeah — I just logged into my course and found this note from my instructor: “What an excellent job in your initial DB activity as clearly you met and exceeded expectations. I would like to encourage you to participate more with your peers as you have a great deal to offer the group.” Boo-yah! Now I just have to read my chapter and finish the team assignment I said I’d have in tonight.
I took a Lean Cuisine to work today — it was a new one for me, one of their bowls with cheese-stuffed rigatoni and veggies — and it was delish. Only 4 WW points too. Of course I was starving when I got home, as evidenced by the speed with which I stuffed in my LC pizza … and it actually seemed to taste good!
The Diva posted about “maintenance men” (a term that is new to me) aka fuck buddies. She just ended a relationship and was pondering taking this tactic but decided it wasn’t for her. I posted my 2 cents which, with experience, is just say no. And who did I get an e-mail from today? Limo Guy. Oh. My. Gawd. Talk about someone who can’t take a hint. “Are we gonna hook up again or just call it quits?” Holy shit. I can’t believe I even had to respond to that considering that I haven’t seen him in FIVE MONTHS … and if his offer of paying me for sex didn’t lure me back, I don’t know what would. So yeah, I sent him an e-mail that no, we are going to hook up again. Boys. Pffft.
Speaking of my irresistible charms, Watchdog and I were talking about something today and I mentioned that I am quite charming when tipsy. He then suggested I open a charm school, to spread myknowledge to the next generation … so I came up with quite possibly the greatest name ever: Miss Monique’s Fucking Klassy Charm School. Anyone wanna help me teach?! LOL
Every so often, I have a week where I find it very difficult to fall asleep at night. Friday night, I was up until 2:30 a.m. Saturday, it was about 1. Last night, I was awake at 1:30. It. Sucks. And then this morning I hit snooze roughly 3,437 times and was all discombobulated and drowsy and unmotivated at work today. AND THEN … the friend I mentioned a few posts ago? Totally sending me semi-dirty e-mails all morning. Needless to say, Miss Monique was a little distracted.
Did y’all catch American Gladiators last night? OMFG. I. LUFF. THAT. SHOW! My favorite original gladiator was Nitro. Meowwwwww. It’s on again tonight. I haven’t picked a favorite new gladiator but I know it’s definitely not Wolf. Who thinks having nasty ratty hair and howling is hot? Pffft.
I got one assignment done that’s due tomorrow … I still have another to do and some reading to do. Yippeeeee …..
Keith, Keith, Keith … cutie pie Keith Ferrazzi is a lecturer for my online classes. Miss Lucy is just experiencing him for this first time, but I’ve been drooling over him since the end of October. He’s so dreamy. And smart. And most likely rich. And he holds a dual passport! He has an application of Crackbook (which doesn’t seem to work all that well but I care not! It’s from Keith!). He has a blog. He does podcasts and video clips. I can only hope that my love affair with Keith continues on until my program is complete in August 2009. A day without Keith is like a day without sunshine … le sigh.
Seems like every Sunday I wake up with a sinus headache. I was stuffed up last night and this morning I felt like I had been fit in the face with a board. When I was at Wal-Mart yesterday, I bought some bath salts that are supposed to help with sinus and allergy congestion. This morning, I took a bath and used them … oh my, it was heavenly. I could breathe and the scent was so soothing. I think it was a combination of ginger, lemon and aloe.
I have another online chat at noon — our last one, for this weekend at least — and I really need to take the trash out plus get the rest of the stuff I bought at Wal-Mart out of my car since I only brought in the perishable items last night. But, that would involve getting dressed, or at least looking more presentable than I do now. Maybe I’ll get some coffee since I’m gonna be outside and that would totally make the leaving the building worthwhile.
Vicious Vikki had her hair done in a kick-ass color and I am totally gonna steal the look. I e-mailed her picture to the lovely and talented Miss Amber, who I think it also thinking of stealing the look for herself. Good think Miss Vikki lives quite a distance away or she might kick my ass for going all Single White Female on her LOL. Unfortunately, I am not due for another cut until the week of the 21st so I will just have to live with my brown hair until then …
I’m so psyched. I finished this class with a 94.4% … it would have been a bit higher had I not spaced a 10 pt assignment (1% of my grade) last week. Oh well. My lovely 4.0 GPA remains intact.
I don’t miss the hangovers that they all had today, though! I was thinking about driving down there tomorrow but with gas prices, my budget allows me to either buy gas to get to KY or to get to/from work next week. Yeah, guess I better stay home. 
So yeah, I sent him an e-mail that no, we are going to hook up again. Boys. Pffft. 
