I forgot to tell y’all about my big “woo hoo” moment yesterday: before I had this surgery, the last time I flew was I think Christmas 07. I was able to fasten the seat belt but it was a tight squeeze. Yesterday? Pffft. I had probably several inches of fabric left over when I clicked that belt closed! I. Was. Ecstatic. It took a second to sink in. I should remember to take a photo when I fly home Sunday. 
I made it until 9:30 or so last night then slept for about 12 hours. Dinner wasn’t until 4 p.m. or so. I had a few bites of turkey, a few bites of potatoes and of course my fresh cranberries cooked up with splenda. YUM. No one else liked them, but they can eat whatever they want so I care not!
Been texting J yesterday and today. Poor punkin wasn’t doing anything today … he had tacos and (shudder) a beef tongue quesadilla for dinner. I told him he could drive up here for turkey but I guess the thought of a 10-hr roundtrip in 2 days wasn’t too appealing lol.
It’s a little after 10 and I’m in bed. Not quite ready to sleep but sick of watching TV and ready for some “me” time. Living alone, it’s such an adjustment to be around people 24/7!
Happy New Year! Hope y’all had a fun, exciting, slightly scandalous and safe new year’s eve! I had a lot of fun with Miss Sodapop … we drank a little, played some Wii, went to Barnes and Noble, ate pizza, watched a few movies, although not in that order lol. We both crashed a few minutes past midnight; I couldn’t get to my air mattress, which was buried at the back of my closet. Soda pumped her mattress up but I gotta say … there’s something to be said for spending the extra money on an Aerobed! My friend S. has one of those and it’s like a bed. Cheap air mattresses, not so much. Miss Chloe, the chiweenie, came out three times during the night to check on me … I covered my head but she still managed to lick my ears. Festive!
I have this friend who I sometimes flirt with … we’ve been doing this on and off for, well, a number of years. Nothing has ever happened and really, who knows if anything will, but yesterday morning I checked my e-mail when I got up and nearly fell out of bed when I read his latest message, where, out of the blue, he mentioned that he was contemplating what name he would call me if we had sex (he’s always been partial to a derivative of my name).
Well.
That’s the kind of message that will wake a girl up! I took the mature approach, ignored everything else in the e-mail and sent a reply that simply said, hmmm, so you’ve thought about us having sex???? Of course I didn’t admit to having had the same thought … I didn’t get the moniker Scandalous Bitch for nothing, y’all. 
Speaking of beds (ahem), these adjustable beds are pretty cool! I love to be lazy. Oh how I PPH being lazy … and I am all for anything to enable my laziness habit. I am in a shopping mood although I don’t have much extra $ to spend right now. In addition to looking at beds, I’ve been looking online at computers. I’m thinking about getting a desktop. I don’t *need* one but my laptop has been getting on my nerves, and it is 2 1/2 years old …
Merry Christmas! It was a quiet day at Chez Monique’s Parents. We didn’t exchange presents until this afternoon, when my brother got up. I received a Starbucks card from him, an Elvis doll my mom made (my brother got Mr. T), a keychain thingie and a calendar that features a picture of my mom’s friend’s cats. And of course money. Wheeeeee! Alas there were no golf shoes under the tree for me. I could have used those playing golf on my Wii!
I was looking online and there’s a Weight Watchers meeting Thursday at 6 p.m. I’m going. I’ve gained back all the weight I lost. Le sigh. Time to get back on the wagon!
I have been so domestic today, I want to explode … and it’s not even 1 p.m.! Who knows what else I will be up to today! In 4 hours, I have cross-stitched, made a lemon meringue pie, made sweet rolls, gone to Michaels …. ummm I think that’s it. Certainly more home-y stuff than I normally do in a month!
I ended up getting my brother a gift card for Christmas which I know is the easy way out. But really, what the hell do you buy a 26-year-old man? I normally like to buy actual presents but with him, it’s just too tough. He does drive a pick-up truck so I suppose I could have ordered a truck bed liner, but it’s easier just to slap down $25 at Barnes and Noble lol.
I have been making an effort to pray/meditate daily and I feel like it’s really made a difference in my demeanor. Like when I was on that flight the other day with the screaming infant five feet from me, I felt sorry for the mom, who was traveling alone with the baby, and just wanted the little girl to be comfortable and not scared. Today my mom and I were in the car and this old jokey Christmas song came on, the one where people are bitching about 12 different things about Christmas. I mean, Christmas comes every year, why not just prepare for it? Gah. Stuff like that drives me crazy.
So this “Elf Yourself” web site seems to be quite the rage. Click here to see Miss Monique and my slightly less attractive brother elfing. Here are the Bitches, courtesy of Miss Laci.
I went grocery shopping today and during my travels, I came across a restaurant that serves gyros and shawarma. I am so excited! I will definitely be paying them a visit in the near future. I also saw a real, live Little Caesars; it’s too far away for delivery but I will be stopping to fulfill my Crazy Bread desires soon!
I LUFF my Tracy Turnblad wig so much I wore it for 90 minutes before my friends came over to pick me up LOL. Chris and Tommy decided not to go the Sonny and Cher route. Boo. Instead Chris was dead in a coffin and Tommy was a slutty witch. Of course we all looked fabulous. Photos to come when Tommy e-mails them to me. We got to the bar earleeeeee. That kinda sucked but gave me plenty of drinking time (all told I had at least six bacardis and diet cokes. Yummeh). Chris’s costume was the hit of the night; I lost count of how many people came up to take his picture.
I was drunk txting my brother (I can do that since he’s up all night lol). I was trying to avoid drunk txting Matt but he txted me first (although he wasn’t drunk). I made it home about 3 … when I woke up this morning my clothes were on the kitchen floor and my wig and inflatable hair spray can were on the kitchen table LOL.
Ok I need food. And to get dressed. And to get my ass in gear and call Matt since he’s going to help me haul shit out of my apartment. That may be the end of this fledgling relationship LOL.
So my dad tells me tonight, at the end of our weekly phone call, that he didn’t send me a valentine this year.
My oh-so-mature response was, “Oh my God, Dad!”
He always sends me a valentine. Always always always. He promised to find an online card to send.
At least Mr. Fab already sent me an anti-valentine.
Sniff.
Monique @ 10:16 pm 
