My brother’s girlfriend, Jess, txted me tonight. I’m not even sure why. I like her even though our interaction has been limited to e-mail and txt message. She seems like a smart girl and is actually going to get her master’s degree. Add that to her giant tattoo and she is the best of the bunch so far. Anyway, she sends me a message asking if I know what “city club” is. I had no idea if she was talking about a place, a band, a restaurant or what. She replied that it was a bar and I said that I was old and unhip … but I guess it’s been around for over 30 years LOL. Detroit was about the last place my friends and I would have gone drinking. But it’s nice that Jess has this awesome image of me as a hipster, even if it is becoming painfully clear I am far from it!
I called my doctor’s office today about a bill I received. Sigh. I got a denial letter from the insurer — the insurer I fucking had THREE YEARS AGO. They also submitted the charges under my married name, a name which has not been legally mine for more than two years. Mind you, I’ve been going to this practice for more than seven years. The gist of it was that whomever billed my last two office visits to my ex-husband’s insurance LOL. The woman I talked to must have been divorced, too, because when I said we hadn’t been married for more than two years, she said, “Huh. You think he would have noticed by now.” She “hid” the relationship between me and Josh in the system so hopefully that should be that. At the beginning of the year, when I reviewed my info, they had my mailing address as the apartment he lived in after we divorced. WTF? If someone at the doctor’s office is trying to play cupid, it ain’t gonna work!
I told my parents tonight that I am not moving back to Michigan, at least not now. They were disappointed, of course, although my mom understood when I said I would be too isolated, that the only people I know there are them, my brother and my friend Jennifer. She’s excited I’m moving downtown. My dad was sad. I could tell. He got off the phone in a hurry. I hope he wasn’t too upset. He was also bummed I’m not going up there for Labor Day. Sign me up for daughter of the year. Sheesh.
I’ve been kind of down lately and I haven’t yet figured out why. I haven’t been hiding myself away, I’ve been around my friends a lot but I’m just feeling … blah. At least I can laugh at myself when I get all dramatic and melancholy, as I know this isn’t the serious stuff. It’s just Miss Monique feeling bored. I’m not the only one either — several bitches have been complaining that they are bored. I’ll be shaking up my routine soon enough, I suppose, when I move in the next several weeks …
After all my bitching about estate sale-ing with my dad, he woke up this morning feeling like crap. My mom and brother left for Knoxville this morning so I decided to just drive home. Took me five fucking hours thanks to all of the construction. Sigh. But I made it home about 5 and I just called to check on my dad and he’s feeling better. Now it’s weird to be home, alone. I get used to being around my family, at least the noise of it all, and here the only noise is from the TV and me talking to the cats.
I downloaded the new album by my beloved Matthew Good, Hospital Music. I listened to the whole thing a while ago, as the streaming audio was on his site. The very first song contains the phrase “too cool for school.” Shit like that makes me want to call my ex-husband to tell him, as (a) we both love Matthew Good and (b) we both said “too cool for school.” Argh. Same thing when I read something about Barry Manilow a few weeks ago, as the motherfucker and I both like the Barry. Le sigh. Life goes on, though, whether I share lame-ass pop culture news with exes or not.
I am working on a crafty project for the upcoming Mini Scandalous Weekend … and I’m so psyched that I have to make four, ’cause Sodapop is coming to the midwest to join me, Laci and Lucy! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!
Bad news. Bad bad news. LUCY CAN’T COME ON THE SCANDALOUS WEEKEND. She has to — get this! — fucking WORK! WTF?! How DARE her employer send her on a business trip for which she has to leave during the scandalous weekend!!!! So now it will be just me, Laci and the 1.75 L bottle of Cuervo I bought tonight at Costco … so be forewarned, if I have your cell number, you’ll probably get a drunk txt from me Saturday night!
I ran into my old pastor tonight at Starbucks. I haven’t seen him in about 18 months. He was with someone, I couldn’t tell if it was a date though. I just chatted for a minute, gave Steve my business card and told him to e-mail me to catch up. As I was leaving he said, “You doing okay?” I replied that I was great. He didn’t look convinced — he always could see right through me. 
I laugh now — because what can you do sometimes but laugh instead of cry — at how miserable Steve and I both were 3-4 years ago. I’m happier now too and I hope he is too.
I now have idea number 5,467 when it comes to moving. Now I’m thinking about moving to a place downtown. Chris and I got into an argument about this one street. He was all like, stay away from it, it’s all businesses, it’s shady. Then he finally realized he was thinking about a different street. The downside is that the apartments are about 70% of the square footage I have now, but I am just feeling like it’s time to make a change in my life. I’m not going to find myself living in the ‘burbs …
I have yet to take Soda’s advice and stop looking at Jason’s MySpace page. Lo and behold, it’s no longer private … lo and behold, I’m rapidly getting over him …
“That proposal was a verbal contract, a contract you broke by being a whore!” — my brother’s friend to his ex-fiancee
“Yes, Dad, I have my herpes medication …” — my brother, who has blisters on his shoulder
Sat around waiting for the remodelers today @ my parents’ house. The tile guy finally showed up and my mom bitched him out for being such a dumbass. He had one excuse after another for not showing up when he was supposed to. Then he left and came back with his fiancee. My brother found a pack of crayons in the bathroom the tile guy was working on so apparently there was a kid here too. Klassy.
A new boy called me tonight. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I told him we were eating dinner. LOL It was after 8 p.m. E-mailing him was fine but anything else, no way, and I can’t do what Jason did to me. Speaking of, I’m at that point where I only 95% don’t want to ever hear from Jason again. There’s that 5% of me that wants him to call and grovel. But isn’t that every woman’s dream?!?!
I’ve been looking online at apartments and will probably go check some out Saturday. I’ve decided to stay in Indiana. If I move to Michigan, I know I will become isolated and I can’t deal with that. I’m going to move closer to the city; I can get a 2 bedroom for about $200 less than I am paying now for a 1 bedroom. The square footage will probably be the same but the savings would be nice. I’ll probably have to give up my in-apartment washer and dryer though. Ugh. Maybe I’ll get a place with hookups and buy my own. The only laundromats I’ve found around me are scary as fuck.
I bought my friend Jennifer a bottle of wine for her anniversary and this elderly French man helped me pick something out. He was actually quite charming. I told him I wanted to spend $10-15 on a white wine; he asked me a few questions, pondered then found me a great bargain. It was a Coppola chardonnay, normally $18.99 but on sale for $10.99. I bought a bottle for myself too. 
I’ll serve it when I have a few of the girls over Friday night after work.
I’ve decided that I need more structure in my life. I have Weight Watchers on Mondays. That’s about it. It’s time to make some changes in Miss Monique’s life … I need to get back to my resolution and be good to Monique …
I looked at my cell bill online today and because of the mutherfucker, I went over my allotted 400 text messages by 581, thus costing me $87.15 in overages. Yes, people, that is nearly 1,000 text messages in 8 days. Christ Almighty.
My parents are so WT, I swear. The kitchen remodeling isn’t done yet so the eating-area table and chairs are in the family room, along with the toaster, can opener and other assorted shit. I nearly crapped my pants the other morning when my brother sat down and started cooking frozen waffles. In addition, they just bought a big-ass treadmill, which is staying permanently in the family room. It’s so distracting. Here’s a picture. Mars Attacks and my brother are in the background.
I was checking StatCounter today, as was my wont, and who went to the former site of my dirrty blog at 4:30 a.m. the other day? The little punkin’ I haven’t seen in five months yet still want to beat with a stick. I know what you’re thinking, oh no he di’int but oh yes he did. Seriously, my animosity towards him may eclipse what I feel for the mutherfucker, who by the way, my mother is convinced will call me after his vacation next week. What the fuck ever. I always think they’ll call me … they never do and I never really want them to anyway.
“This guy your brother works with bottles his own barbecue sauce. He gives you the first bottle free.
You know, like crack.”
- I miss my daddy. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, whether you have rugrats or furbabies.
- I have come to the conclusion that sugar gives me a headache. I foolishly succumbed to my favorite candy, those stupid little orange slices that are nothing but sugar, and ate a bag over the past few days. Each morning I woke up with a headache. Bad Monique. Bad bad bad.
- It is really fucking hot. I can’t believe I’m going to be outside on a first date when it’s this hot. I can limit my make-up so I’m not sweating it off, but my hair? I spend time straightening it for a reason — so it looks cute. It does not look cute when it starts to curl back up in spots.
- As if there weren’t enough downsides to online dating, here’s one more: you have to keep track of multiple people. I can’t keep this guy straight from the guy I was talking to last weekend, but never went out with. To make matters worse, their first names both start with the letter J. Gah.
- Dating situation or not, I’ve decided I don’t want to sit around all freaking summer. So I’m going to do something new once a week, even if I have to do it alone. There are tons of places I haven’t been downtown or in other parts of the city, and I might as well try them out.
- My lease is up in October. I’m worried that I won’t be able to handle the 6-month-lease cost, as I can barely afford what I’m paying now. I have this thought in the back of my head, even though I know it’s only .00001% likely to happen and probably even less smart than that, that I’ll meet some fabulous guy and we’ll shack up and thus, I will be able to save on rent. Sigh.
- Oooh it’s clouding up. Maybe it will rain. Even though it hasn’t rained in weeks. But that will ruin my hair too. Damn it!
- I just completed my awesome Sunday task of filling up my pill organizer for the week. I also had the joy of ordering three prescription refills today, two for pick-up and one mail-order. I need to go get my BC from CVS but considering I don’t take it for the purpose it was created for, eh, what’s the hurry? LOL
So, yeah, apparently there’s a reason I take the ambien because without it, I can’t sleep. It’s nearly 5 a.m. I stopped reading at midnight. I don’t know if I’ve slept at all. The cats are taunting me with their sleep. All they do is sleep sleep sleep. Okay, I did take a 90-minute nap this afternoon, but that shouldn’t rob me of my night-time dreamy time. Surprisingly I had a fever last evening but now my temperature is 97.1 degrees. Uh-huh. Reliable thermometer.
My dad e-mailed me tonight and actually used the phrase “BFD.” How does he learn this stuff? He is 62 years old.
Jeff sent me a few more txts last night. JUST FUCKING CALL ME. OMG. It’s at the point now where I either want to go out or left alone. I think I’ll send him an e-mail to that effect. Well, not quite. More like, so when you gonna call me???? Sometimes I wonder why I bother! Speaking of, one of my friends has a major sexcapade planned for this weekend. It’s been so long since I’ve had a raunchy night, I’m starting to wonder if I should take some of these jackasses up on their offers, like the guy who e-mailed me that he was “hornet” as hell. He’s cute. You don’t have to spell during sex. Ugh. I am ready to go back into skantress mode. I’m tired of being all selective and shit.
I met Wayne the PhD candidate for dinner tonight. The evening got off to a whiz bang start when I went to the wrong restaurant and then got pissed he wasn’t there. LOL He called me at 6:40 and we figured everything out. When he did talk, it was fine. Otherwise I feel like I just babbled. Babbled babbled babbled. We actually talked sports. Ha! So yeah not super duper great, but at least he paid for dinner.
I got a mani/pedi after work and a guy came in for a pedicure … and kept his sunglasses on the whole time!!! That cracked me up. Like someone would come in and recognize him.
I found out tonight that one of my uncles has an incurable, progressive disease related to Parkinsons, which his mother had. I’m glad he finally called my mom to come clean about his illness because he hasn’t been well for quite some time and he’s been cagey about it. No sense in keeping that from family. Life’s too short.
