It’s not even 2:30 p.m. and I am so ready for a nap. It’s been one of those days at work … I can’t decide if I want to listen to music or not, drink water or pop, blah blah blah. I’m spacy and ditzy and just don’t want to be here!!!!
I canceled my date last night … I had two assignments due for school and I realized that I just decided to give this guy another try because I was feeling petulant and lonely, ya know? As my mother said, I don’t need to get caught up in anyone else’s drama.
The ex IM’d me today to see if I got his check. I told him I did, then he got all chatty about it, saying he was sorry it was so messed up, blah blah blah. All I could hear was this voice in my head saying “Shut Up Shut Up Why Doesn’t He Shut Up???” LOL I was rather short with him and just stopped responding.
Did I mention I finished my last class with a 95.1%? 
I booked a massage for next month to celebrate. Even though I have 30 credits to go, I am going to do my damndest to graduate with honors. I didn’t apply myself all that much as an undergrad and just skated by based on my natural abilities. I think I ended up with a 3.33 GPA. Not bad but it could have been better. No time like when I’m actually paying for the degree to do well!
I instant-messaged the ex-husband this morning at work.
MONIQUE: Because you never paid that tax bill, the IRS took $468 out of MY federal refund. Thanks a lot.
MONIQUE: Now I have to fill out some form to maybe get my money back even though the debt is assigned to your SSN.
MONIQUE: I really appreciate your willingness to own up to your responsibilities.
I received this e-mail in return.
If it is under my SSN, why would they take the money from you, that makes no sense to me? I have paid everything that was sent to me, and the last thing I am doing is running away from any financial responsibilities. I would hope that you know me better than that.
Give me an exact amount owed to you, and I will send it to you today.
“I would hope that you know me better than that”? Dude, I haven’t lived with you in nearly 4 years. He could be a pimp for all I know.
My reply.
They took the money because it was a joint return. I don’t think they care who they get it from.
It was $468.67.
The exchange ended thusly.
Ok. I will get it sent out. I will send it out DHL overnight today. So you should have it tomorrow.
I’ll be sending it to the office.
Let me go wait by the mailbox.
In other news, I’m having dinner with MM tonight. 
Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!
My federal tax refund was deposited into my checking account late last week. The amount was nearly $500 left than I expected. Now, I’m pretty good at doing my taxes and I couldn’t think of anything I omitted to calculate … and then it hit me.
My motherfucking cocksucking phone-sex-addicted asshole of an ex-husband never paid that tax bill like he said IN WRITING that he would.
That’s right, MY MONEY was applied to HIS OVERDUE TAXES because he never paid them and I filed first.
The bill resulted from 2004, the last year we filed jointly. After we separated, asshole went on a gambling binge and won some money. Enough money that he had to fill out tax forms at the casino. Asshole wasn’t smart enough to fucking TELL ME THIS when I did out taxes for the year.
About a year or two ago, I got a letter saying we owed X amount of money. We got it figured out and it came down to the money he owed on the gambling winnings. He said he would pay. I got another letter. He said he would pay. I got another letter. And so it went on, until I fucking copied all of the paperwork, sent it to him and stuck in a nasty note. I never heard anything else, I figured he paid it.
Ha.
Now I fucking have to find a copy of that tax return or request a transcript, then fill out the Injured Spouse Allocation form to get my money back. The letter I got from the IRS actually says that the taxes are assigned to his fucking SSN. I hate him. ARGH!
I don’t know why this shit surprises me. He’s let me down time after time. It’s just that, well, you know, I loved him once and I guess I don’t want to think that someone I spent nearly 10 years of my life with could be such a fucking inconsiderate dumbass douche. And in the past 3 years did he forget who he is dealing with? Did he forget that I am a far better debater than he? That I can argue circles around him? That my vocabularly grows exponentially when I am livid and I can shut him down in a matter of seconds?
His patheticness disgusts me. Whenever I see his true character, I am so glad he is not in my life anymore. And I hate him so hard.
After remarking to a colleague that after my ex signs off on the title paperwork for my (formerly our) car, I will never have to talk to him again, imagine my surprise when he IM’d me at work.
Imagine my greater surprise when he told me he is being transferred to NEW JERSEY!!!!!!
OMFG I NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN!!!!!!
I am so ecstatic. ECSTATIC! Like, no trace of sorrow whatsoever. No trace of “Ohhh I wish it were me moving to the east coast.” Like, I’m so ecstatic I already called my mother and told about seven people that he’s moving.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.
First, Laci’s FWB may or may not be a total douchebag, we’re waiting to hear.
Then, I got ANOTHER fucking letter from the IRS. The tax bill from 2004 my ex-asshole said in NOVEMBER he would pay? Still fucking unpaid. OMFG. You know, I don’t know why he’s being such a dick. I have in writing him saying he would pay it all and for me not to worry about it. I’ve pointed this out to him. I’m tempted to pay it and then take him to small claims court. That would fix his fucking wagon. Motherfucker. He makes roughly twice as much money as I do. You think he’d just man up and pay the fucking bill. Christ. I don’t even know where he lives now so I could have him served at work LOL. OMFG that would be awesome. I wouldn’t even care if he hated me forever for it.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit across the face with a board. Yay, sinus pressure. I took an aleve and a sudafed, however, and dragged my ass on into work. I started to feel better then after lunch felt worse, so I said fuck it, and came home. These days I wake up with headaches are pretty much worthless.
Speaking of lunch, today was our United Way fundraiser/pizza party celebrating the first Colts game of the season. We ate down in the auditorium at work and a video of last season’s highlights was on a constant loop. Miss Laci would have been in heaven. I was not. I ate my two slices of pizza, watched the dvd once through, and when it started to repeat, I grabbed a piece of cake (blue and white, of course) and hightailed it back to my desk. I don’t mind watching football if there’s a group and there are women for me to talk to. Otherwise, not so much. I’ll probably have the game on tonight, after Big Brother is over, but I’ll be doing other things too.
I had the strangest dream last night, completely unmedicated. I saw on the news that my ex-husband was indicted for some business-related crime; there was video of him on a stage, giving a speech, all Steve Jobs-like and shit. (Oddly, I thought the whole power thing was hot; I always did like it when he was a dick at work lol.) Then I found out that he had gotten remarried and didn’t tell me, and I was more concerned that he had been doing illicit things when we were together than that he had a new wife (because, of course, anyone else is but a replacement for me lol). My dad also saw the news story and called me, my mother cackling in glee in the background. My dad was just disappointed. Of course.
Very weird. I’m sure there’s a whole lot of shit in that dream but I’m leaving it alone!
My brother’s girlfriend, Jess, txted me tonight. I’m not even sure why. I like her even though our interaction has been limited to e-mail and txt message. She seems like a smart girl and is actually going to get her master’s degree. Add that to her giant tattoo and she is the best of the bunch so far. Anyway, she sends me a message asking if I know what “city club” is. I had no idea if she was talking about a place, a band, a restaurant or what. She replied that it was a bar and I said that I was old and unhip … but I guess it’s been around for over 30 years LOL. Detroit was about the last place my friends and I would have gone drinking. But it’s nice that Jess has this awesome image of me as a hipster, even if it is becoming painfully clear I am far from it!
I called my doctor’s office today about a bill I received. Sigh. I got a denial letter from the insurer — the insurer I fucking had THREE YEARS AGO. They also submitted the charges under my married name, a name which has not been legally mine for more than two years. Mind you, I’ve been going to this practice for more than seven years. The gist of it was that whomever billed my last two office visits to my ex-husband’s insurance LOL. The woman I talked to must have been divorced, too, because when I said we hadn’t been married for more than two years, she said, “Huh. You think he would have noticed by now.” She “hid” the relationship between me and Josh in the system so hopefully that should be that. At the beginning of the year, when I reviewed my info, they had my mailing address as the apartment he lived in after we divorced. WTF? If someone at the doctor’s office is trying to play cupid, it ain’t gonna work!
I found out my debit card had been canceled — the account had been “compromised” — and also got a certified letter from the IRS because my dumbass ex-husband did not pay the tax bill like he fucking said he would. Shocker. So that means a nasty VM for him tomorrow.
The new guy is supposed to call me again tonight since I freaked out last night. I need a name for him. Anyway, argh. Just argh. Then tomorrow I have this speed dating thing to get through, and then I still don’t know what Asshat and I are doing Friday. I’m not too too concerned but come on, the guy’s been trying to get me to go out with him for six damn months.
The Red Wings play again tonight. My confidence is shaken. I fear this is their last game of the season … sigh.
Edited to add: Ok, one down. Asshat called. We’re going to meet up Friday but we don’t know when … he’s going to the track and to the Kid Rock concert in the afternoon. So at least it will be something casual.
Update No. 2: Guy with kids just called me. According to my phone, we talked for 7 minutes, 53 seconds. Then he abruptly ended the conversation saying, “Well, I just wanted to give you a call. I’m going to get something to eat.” Oookay. Moving on …
My former co-worker just called me to announce that she had a conversation with Barack Obama. I couldn’t believe it. B and I share the same birthday (although she’s older by 18 years) and we are both die-hard Democrats. B and Barack were on the same plane from Washington to Chicago, where she lives, and she marched right up to him and started campaigning about an issue near and dear to our hearts (work-related). Throughout the story, I kept yelling, “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” lol.
Yesterday, more IMs from the ex. This exchange started with him talking about a comedy CD we both used to like and ended with him telling me about his date for our upcoming work party. Oh hell no. Monique ain’t playing these games anymore. We aren’t buddies. He doesn’t like hearing about the gentlemen who have been in my life. These conversations aren’t repairing our relationship or rebuilding the friendship. So I called him this morning and left him a voice mail on his cell saying so. It felt good. I wasn’t shrieky or naggy or whatever, just honest and just emotional enough to make my point. He e-mailed this morning, apologizing, saying he had no “ill intentions.” What does that mean? He doesn’t want me to get sick? 
Anyway I deleted the message and didn’t respond.
Talking to B. tonight made me realize how much I miss her. She’s smart and funny and a big Monique fan. She didn’t get married until she was in her mid-40s, so she understands what it’s like to be single. I’m glad I’ll see her in a few weeks. I do call her my boyfriend jinx, though. One guy ended our relationship 3 days after he and I had dinner with Briget. Another relationship ended the day after I told Briget about him. Either funny coincidences or she practices black magic. Really, I’m not sure.
Edited to add: Someone, I won’t say who, thought I was talking about Osama bin Laden and wondered who the hell I knew that could find bin Laden on a plane at O’Hare. Well, we can’t all be into politics. I guess.
Sometimes the universe works as it should.
Today, I had the former flame’s MySpace page up to show another co-worker. As we were laughing at him, my task bar started flashing orange with a new IM … from my ex-husband. What timing! It was like he knew that I was talking about the former flame. (I had to set my ex straight for the 8,000th time in October that no, the FF and I did not have sex. We didn’t even kiss! Because I was the only girl he had liked in 10 years. Sigh.)
The exchange with my ex went as follows:
Him — Did you have a good new year’s?
Me (15 minutes later) — Yep, how was yours?
Him — It was good. Sucks to be at work. Ha.
Me (35 minutes later) — No doubt!
And …. that was it. No drama, no tales of his drunken debauchery to piss me off, nothing. If the rest of my year goes this smoothly, I will be a happy girl.
