There is so much right now in my life that can be addressed by the word “Seriously.”
First, there’s the Wings game. Seriously. Thirty-five seconds from winning the Cup …. then the game is tied and eventually lost in the third OT. I was on the couch, half asleep, listening to the rise and fall of the announcers’ voices to determine when someone scored. UGH.
When the Penguins tied the game, my phone rang almost immediately — my dad, of course — and my IM lit up like a Christmas tree LOL. I was stunned into silence, at least verbally. Twitter took the hit of my profanity. 
Second, I was on a conference call today when I got a text message from MM. MM! “Morning! ToY!” I was just like, you have to be fucking kidding me! I replied with, “Srsly. We have barely spoken in weeks.” No reply. Shocker.
I am over that shit. Ovah it. MM has had so many opportunities to contact me. It’s been 2 months since we’ve had dinner. We are at the office together daily plus hello, there is every night of the week to call me. He’s just a lazy jackass.
So what’s next? Tomorrow night, the Wings go back to Pittsburgh and can win the Cup there. Not as sweet as winning at home but it will do. And with mah love life? Who the fuck knows. I’m still sick of them all!
I was driving home tonight from doing laundry and noticed that the traffic light by my building was out. That was odd. Then I hauled my basket into the building and noticed the lights were out.
Fuck.
Of course the elevator wasn’t working. So I hauled my laundry basket back to the car ’cause I wasn’t about to carry it up 6 flights of stairs … and by the time I climbed up the stairs I was a hot, sweaty mess. It was 87 degrees at the time and probably hotter in the stairwell. UGH.
I was more pissy at the time about the prospect of not being able to watch the Wings game than the lack of A/C. I told Miss Sodapop I was going to pray and I did. Normally I am not in favor of asking God for something like a favorite team winning. But I asked for the opportunity to see the game, because I believe the Wings will win tonight, and to be able to share the experience with my dad, even though we are 250 miles apart, because I really wanted to be in Michigan for this game, to watch it with him.
A few minutes later I went into the other room and noticed that the green light was on the cable box! The power was back! Wheeeeeeee! I sent my dad a “Let’s go Red Wings” text message, then texted my brother, asking to let me know how long it takes our dad to notice the text. LOL He’s not so hip on these things.
Miss Laci has taken it upon herself to organize a moviegoing party for the SATC movie. I was going to go, I wasn’t going to go, back and forth, until I finally decided to go, since Miss Sodapop convinced me … partly luring me with the fire department picnic on Sunday. Hellloooo firefighters! With my wack-ass diet, no post-movie cosmos for me … too much sugar. Sugar bad!
Oh, and I didn’t mention the best part about the moviegoing party — I get to meet Miss Laci’s mom and she can see that I’m not an internet predator! (That was her fear when Laci and I met in Evansville for the first Scandalous Bitches weekend last summer.)
Today was kind of a dieting trainwreck. I didn’t know what to do about breakfast so I just didn’t eat it. Then for lunch, I got a salad from the cafeteria, except (a) it wasn’t all that good and (b) I didn’t have any protein to eat with it. I picked at the salad for about 90 minutes then threw it in the trash … and by 2:30, I was out the door to get a “low carb” burger from Hardees. LOL It hit the spot but I am still hungry … physically hungry too, not like, ooh I want to pick at a bag of chips. No. I want another frickin’ burger! Right now! Obviously I’ll be making dinner as soon as I get home from work!
That I would still be wide awake at nearly midnight the night before I have to go back to work. Le sigh. I didn’t even nap today! Or sleep in that late! Or drink caffeine, for pete’s sake!
The Red Wings game totally kicked ass; they won 3-0. They’ve had shut-outs in the first 2 games of the series. Two games down, two to go to win.
I was on some site today and was reading — what else? — relationship articles, and there was one that interested me. It was about the dating mistakes of the characters on Sex in the City. So I took the quiz, fully expecting, from the descriptions, to be Carrie or Miranda. Nope, I was a Samantha. I was like, whatev, but the description does fit:
When you meet the hotties you are into no-strings-attached sex. Often you have the thought, “I don’t need or want a relationship.” But sometimes you meet a guy, have great sex in his king-sized bed and open up not only sexually but emotionally. Everything is unfolding perfectly. Too perfectly. After the cozy coupling and three hour confessionals you start to like the guy and get scared to death. You find yourself running away while secretly hoping he’ll chase after you. Your deeper fear about being entangled and hurt in a relationship surfaces like a Loch Ness monster and starts running the show. You pull back and become unavailable, distant or quiet–or you act crazy and dump him. Even if he acts loving, you insist that he doesn’t really care about you. You may even tell him to see other girls. It happens almost against your own will and for no particular reason. In spite of how you chased him away, you still sit there waiting for his text, email, or phone call. And it never comes. You secretly or not-so-secretly want the guy to chase after you but he doesn’t. Try as you might you just can’t seem to overcome this dead-end pattern, which I call Chase Me. It happens time and time again.
Umm yeah. Guilty as charged. I am very skilled at pulling back and creating distance. God forbid a guy should think that I am interested in him. Le sigh. I really need to work on that.
The lack of caffeine — I’m trying to give it up totally — as well as this new diet — it’s like Atkins without the fun! — are making me kranky with a capital K. Miss Monique does not like to be hungry! (Like I even need to say that LOL.) I am not sure what I am going to do for lunch at work, since I am not able to eat my usual frozen meals. Maybe tomorrow I will get a salad and then bring a chicken breast with me to add in.
There’s another hockey game on tonight! Wheeeeee! A bright spot in my otherwise bleak day. And it really is kind of bleak out … it’s gloomy, insanely humid and raining on and off. I watched 2 of my lectures for this week — 4 to go, kick ass — but I think it’s time for talk shows now.
Scott’s reply email read, in part, as follows:
I sort of assumed you weren’t seeing anyone — or else you wouldn’t be here. So I assure you I wasn’t attempting to be roundabout regarding anything. Guess I was just confused in thinking that you were writing for a living or something. And you are indeed correct that I sent you something too.
Umm yeah. I do write for a living. Just not porn.
My reply:
I do write for a living, however, I write for financial-aid administrators, and that work is far from what I sent you. Forgive me for misinterpreting your remark; generally, writings about Return of Title IV Funds and sex are not referenced in the same paragraph.
Men are asses.
This morning I received an IM from MM, the first I’ve heard from him in over 3 weeks.
Good Morning, Sunshine! How you doing?
Are. You. Fucking. Serious????
Because it was work IM, I ignored his ass instead of letting forth a fury of multi-syllabic swear words. Then I saw him a few hours later when I went to the cafeteria to grab something for lunch; he was at the Atari machine that’s down there. (Un)fortunately, he was gone by the time I went to pay. I wanted to be able to laugh at him and say, “Dude, it’s been THREE WEEKS!” when he spoke to me.
Oh well.
In other news, last night I remembered a steamy story that Scott #1 wrote for me back in the day. Holy hell, I was ready to drive the six blocks to his apartment after reading it. He must have had the same thought, because this morning I had an email from him that ended with, “For whom are you writing these days? I recall that you sent me a work of fiction once.” In my reply, I reminded him of the story he wrote me (which I had to read again on my phone, for good measure LOL) and told him that if his question was a roundabout way of asking if I were seeing anyone, the answer was “no.”
I seem to go through periods of time where I get a lot of headaches. This is one of those times, apparently. I’m sure part of it is the weather, part of it is pollen/mold, part of it is stress and part of it is who knows what. I woke up this morning with a headache in my right eye; when I get a headache like that, especially in the morning, my day is pretty much ruined. I called in to work, fed the cats, then got back into bed. At 1:30, I still felt like shit. I showered and ate some chicken noodle soup, and now I’m hoping that helps or at least doesn’t make things worse.
I have so much that I have to do, both for school and for getting ready for mah bitches coming to visit this weekend. Last night I got into bed about 10:30 and was going to read my book for school but picked up Glamour magazine instead (a magazine I’ve had for over a week but hadn’t touched, btw). It was so nice to read something frivolous. That’s probably what gave me a headache. LOL
I have been a weepy mess this week. Weeeepeeee. Part of it I’ll blog about later. But I think part of it is that I switched forms of birth control this month and am now back on the pill. The hormones seem to be jacking me up. I burst into tears last night after reading Scott’s email response (it’s in the comments of my last post) and at other random points throughout the night.
This morning I nearly cried again after seeing Jason’s picture on my match “who’s viewed me” list. I came thisclose to sending him an e-mail. Srsly. It was like my fingers were on the keyboard, ready to tap out God knows what. Then I had a flash. A moment. A voice in my head said, “Monique, you don’t owe him any explanation. He doesn’t need to know why you blocked him from e-mailing you.”
Sometimes I am quite smart. And sometimes I even listen to myself.
So I gathered up my stuff, grabbed my umbrella and went outside. I drove to Kroger, got a Lean Cuisine for lunch (and a bag of jelly beans lol), and by the time I got back to the office, I was more concerned with how frickin’ humid it was outside than with ex-boyfriends.
Now I’m listening to It’s All Over/And I Am Telling You from the DreamGirls soundtrack. I still love that movie!
Jason emailed me again last Thursday during the hockey game; we exchanged a few more messages. Today I looked at his MySpace page (our pages are both private and we’re not MySpace friends anymore) and his status said, “Jason has a giddy feeling that can’t be shaken.” Of course he could be giddy over any number of things but you know what? I don’t care. So I blocked him from being able to communicate with me via match.com. It isn’t good for me to be talking to him. If he wanted to see me, he would have asked by now, and if he just hasn’t gotten around to it, well, he’ll figure out a way if he works hard enough.
