Yesterday was my exciting day of pre-op tests! Wheeeee! Actually, it was easier than expected. I was at the hospital for maybe four hours. The upper GI turned out to be no big deal; I only had to drink 1/4- 1/2 cup of the barium stuff but the crystal thingies made me burp like there was no tomorrow LOL. I met the doctor who will be looking in on me after surgery and liked her.

Today, my mom and I went to the all-day pre-op class. Le sigh. They told me to bring a snack. A snack. They did not say that there would be NO LUNCH. OMG. It was nearly 2 p.m. by the time we got out of there and I could not drive to a restaurant fast enough. LOL The crankiness abated once we had some food in our tummies.

I’m sure I’l think of more later but right now, I just want a nap!

Yesterday morning I had a group online chat for class, did some other stuff then hit the road to Miss Sodapop’s place in the Ville. I was cruising along, enjoying the sunshine, listening to “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey and then … FUCK.

I blew past a state trooper.

In my rearview mirror, I saw him turn around and pull out into traffic but he didn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry. I slowed down, moved into the right lane and thought maybe, just maybe, I was in the clear.

Nope. When he got behind me, he flipped on his lights and I pulled off onto the shoulder. It had been so long since I had been pulled over — 10 years — that I had to think through what to do. I turned on my emergency flashers and turned off the car. But then I couldn’t roll down the window. So then I had to partially start the car again to get the window down. In my side mirror, I could see him startle so I put my hands on the wheel and just sat there like a good girl. LOL

Long story short, he nailed me for going 16 over PLUS having an expired registration. It expired last month, I thought it expired this month. He told me he was obligated to tow the car but he didn’t want to do that because that would be bad. I said, “Yes, sir, it would.” He told me to be patient and he’d see what he could do. I think this was during his 2nd or 3rd trip to my car; when he left again, I texted Sodapop, Laci and Lucy what was going on. It was at that point when my eyes started to get teary. The trooper was gone quite some time, which gave me plenty of time to think … mainly about my irresponsibility for (a) speeding and (b) not looking at the damn due date on my registration!

When he came back over, he said, “Ma’am, I’m in a bit of tight spot here so I need you to listen carefully. As a trooper, it is my obligation to tow this car. I’m not going to do that. You cannot drive this vehicle, however. … But I’m going to leave now, you understand?” I thanked him and that’s when the tears started to really flow. LOL I now have two $121 tickets to pay … plus I have to renew my registration, of course, on Tuesday (I think the BMV is closed on Mondays).

After the trooper told me to drive safely and took off, I pulled back into traffic and got off at the nearest exit, parked at the far end of a BK parking lot and cried my little heart out. It was a few minutes before I felt composed then I decided to stop for gas … and the place did NOT have pay at the pump. What. The. Fuck?! So I left to go to another gas station, which did not help my stress level. UGH.

Once I got to Miss Sodapop’s (after driving the speed limit), we met Miss Laci for dinner at BW3’s then walked around a mall because we were both so stinkin’ full. I think I left about 10 this morning and made it home about 12:15 p.m. I did some cleaning when I got home then showered … my mom should be here any time now. Not sure what we’re going to do this afternoon. Tomorrow morning I have to get up at the crack of dawn to go to the hospital. Yay.

More like kinda tipsy blogging … Christopher and I went to the drag bar tonight to see the lovely Miss Gina perform and I slammed two bacardi and diet’s. Well, not really slammed, I drank them in about an hour lol. I’ve done much worse. I was texting Miss Lucy because her drag girlfriend was shaking her ta-tas in my face. In fact, most of the girls were … I don’t think they quite know what to make of me. LOL

Tomorrow I have to get up kinda early and get a bag together since I”m going to Miss Sodapop’s in the afternoon after I (a) survive an online chat for school and (b) get a facial at le college de beaute.

I have basically one more weekend to drink … and I plan to do that next weekend in St. Lou. Then I’ll be counting down until I can imbibe again. LOL And now, because I’m such a good girl, my post-drinking snack is … a Weight Watchers pizza pocket thing. RAWK ON.

I love being able to look out my windows at night and see the city. From where I am on the couch, I have a perfect view of the dome of the capitol building and I can also see a big American flag flying in the wind (the flag is properly lit of course). Downtown is really starting to feel like home to me. I’m starting to remember the order of the street names (after a certain point, they’re no longer numbered but are named after other states) and can find my way around pretty well. I feel much more settled here than I remember feeling in my last apartment, and I was there for 3 years.

Another good workout tonight … although I did get a little cranky at the end because I was tired and the things she had me doing were hard. As an example, I held a 10 lb medicine ball over my head while doing squats. That ball got heavy. I think it grew while I held it. LOL We always work on abs as the last thing before stretching … today she had me down on all fours, lifting opposite arms and legs. Fine, except she kept getting her directions mixed up, and I just wanted to be done! But I survived to whine about it.

Speaking of whining, I have a fun-filled day ahead of me tomorrow … my annual at the doctor’s office in the morning, followed by my annual review at work at 2 p.m. I have the hard copy of my review already and I think the score is the highest it’s ever been. I was pleased. Now, will I be pleased with the size of my salary increase???? Stay tuned …

When I am so inclined, I can be quite the social butterfly. I like having friends, I like seeing my friends, I like being with my friends. I also like to do stuff. But because of this, people sometimes lean on me to set things up. Like, yesterday. My coworker D IM’d me and said, “Hey, the next time you hang out with Kim [a former coworker], can I tag along? I’d like to see her.”

Well, then frickin’ call her yourself! Why wait for me to do it?!

UGH.

I am krankeeee today. Not sure why, I don’t really have any reason to be … I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my eyes. Instead I’m working out with Kara tonight and then have to haul ass home to eat dinner and make a 7:30 online chat for school. Rock on.

After work, I got my hair did — screw growing it out, I’m all sassified again — then went to do laundry.

Sigh.

It was in the 80s outside … and about 120 degrees inside! I was actually sweating while doing nothing … and when I was moving around and handling hot-out-the-dryer laundry, whoa nellie. It was awful. I love my apartment but I HAET not having a washer and dryer here.

Well, yesterday I wrote out this long ranting post about my trip to the dietician’s on Thursday … and then my site went down. LOL So you were spared from all that but I’ll still have to recap … but not tonight.

My 4th was pretty lazy; I really didn’t do much at all. The city shoots off fireworks from a building that is directly in my line of sight from my living room, so I was able to sit on the couch and watch the show. That was pretty cool. Next year I’ll have to have a party.

Today I left here about 11, went to the Qdoba by the med school to “study” — I did end up getting my work done, I was just easily distracted lol, then went over to the library for a few books and on to Wal-Mart for grocery shopping. Ugh.

I had an interesting experience tonight … I received a mailer for this new Chinese massage place; from the sounds of things, I thought they did foot massages. The cost was $25 for 1 hr, so I thought what the hell. I went over there tonight and they were booked … so I had to kill 2 hours before my appointment at 8. I went to Stein Mart and Ulta, drove around, then said fuck it, and went back to the place about 7:45.

There were two rooms, one with 6 chairs and then the one I was in with 3. The guy reclined my chair and then wheeled in a square tub filled with hot water and good-smelling stuff. I soaked for probably 10+ minutes (and in the interim a couple came in to fill the other 2 chairs). After a while, my guy came back and massaged my head, face, neck and arms. He was quite forceful but nothing hurt for long. Eventually he made his way to my feet; he wheeled away the tub o’ water, dried me off and put lotion on my feet and went to town. Oh, that was nice.

Then he had me turn over (I was fully clothed the whole time and covered in a towel) and worked some more on my back on arms. Holy hell I might be black and blue tomorrow. I almost giggled, it felt so odd. Then, the next thing I knew, he jumped up on the table (the chair fully reclined), straddled my legs and did all sorts of stuff to my shoulders and back. I was a bit surprised but I didn’t feel violated or anything lol. And I didn’t feel anything poking at me.

All in all, it was more than an hour … for $25 plus tip. I think I’d go back. It was an experience, that’s for sure!

I can hardly believe that I’ve had this blog for 3 years. I read through my posts from July 2005 and well, there’s nothing profound or exciting to point y’all to. I was a sad and lost little punkin’. While I have my moments, at least for now I am neither sad nor lost, and for that I must give you a lot of the credit.

I have made some of the best friends of my adult life because of this blog. Sodapop, Laci and Lucy are the sisters I never knew I wanted and the type of friend that I could call at literally any hour of the day … and I think each of us has sent out at least one SOS to the others.

Because of this blog, I’ve become connected to people I never would have met otherwise; there are far too many people for me to even begin to name any more names. I don’t differentiate anymore between my “online” friends and my “real life” friends, because the lines have been blurred. I trust you all with my innermost thoughts, my deepest secrets, my highest highs and my lowest lows.

Thank you. For everything.

And Happy Blogaversary to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After greatly reducing my caffeine intake over the past several weeks, I had a bit of a mini-binge yesterday without even thinking. Iced coffee from McD’s in the a.m., a bottle of diet dew mid-day and then a tall coffee light frappuccino in the afternoon. Well, I’ll be damned if I wasn’t awake until 2 fucking a.m. OMG. Yes, it’s my own fault … but it still really really sucked!!!

I worked out again today and it was the first time I remember feeling strong. I was doing all sorts of shit, mostly involving the bosu ball (I think because Kara the trainer knows I hate it!) … like kneeling on it, with my hands on the mat and doing push-ups; kneeling on it and doing bicep curls while also trying to lift my toes off the floor behind me … basically I was kneeling on that thing half of the hour I worked out. UGH. The hardest things, though, were … well, I don’t even know what they’re called. I was on the mat on my stomach and lifted up my legs behind me. Then using the palms of my hands, I pushed my upper body upwards, keeping my elbows as close to my body as possible. Totally felt that in the triceps. These weight-bearing exercises are a bitch. I was literally dripping sweat onto the mat. I thought that was gross but Kara was excited ha ha.

I decided on a title for my blogaversary post … but that’s about it. Maybe this weekend I’ll do a video post. Oooh la la!

And now I’m going to bed. 10:16 p.m. and I’m ready to drop …

“let them go-the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers-you must let them go they
were born
to go” — ee cummings*

I’ve been friends with Deb for nearly 6 years. We were work friends. The friendship originated because we worked so closely together and well, we both liked to talk. We both got divorced during that timeframe and she was really invaluable during my divorce. It seemed like every day I’d call her extension, crying that I was out of kleenex and could she bring me some tissues because I didn’t want to leave my cubicle with my make-up smeared around my eyes. And then when she finally decided to get help for her depression, she called me one morning and I cried with her on the phone. We’ve been through a lot.

But now, things are different. We don’t work together any more and we don’t have much in common without work. I stopped talking to her for a while, for my own sanity, because she was constantly complaining about her husband, her kids, his kids … it got to the point where I had expressed my feelings, told her she either had to do something to fix the situation or think about moving on … and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Things have evened out a bit since then.

The latest topic, though, is my upcoming surgery. She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand why I want to do this, why I feel like I NEED to do this. She keeps trying to talk me out of it, not listening to my when I explain, as patiently as I can, that I have been diligently going through the process for months now, meeting first with my doctor, attending the informational seminar, meeting the surgeon, attending classes, exercising … I don’t know why. I don’t see how a thin Monique could be a threat to her. But maybe I am, I don’t know.

I’ve been lucky, so far the overwhelming majority of my friends and family members have been positive. My dad was about the only person who was apprehensive at first but he was worried about me … and he is very overweight himself. The day after I told him about the surgery he told me that I was doing the right thing and I was smart to do it now, while I was still young. That makes me sad, even now I’m tearing up; he’s only 63, but I can’t make him have the surgery.

Anyway I didn’t mean for this to be a downer post … but it’s how I’m feeling now so that’s what you get! I can’t believe my 3-year “blogaversary” is on Thursday. Usually I do something semi-spectacular; I don’t know what I’ll come up with … I suppose I should start thinking!

*I’m not a big poetry fan but I love me some ee cummings, maybe because we have the same birthday … 80 years apart lol. This poem is my favorite.