I may have conquered my caffeine addiction … but I am now drinking Crystal Light like there is no tomorrow! I could not get enough of that stuff today! I was totally hopped up on artificial sweeteners. Between the Splenda and lack of caffeine, I think my little brain neurons were on overload. I swear I could feel my brain rewiring itself!!! Hopefully that fuzzy-head feeling will disappear soon. Gah.

I seriously need to do something to shake up my life. I know, usually when I say something like that, I go off and screw some guy in his limo bus. But I have no intentions of a tawdry hook-up. Well, I wouldn’t pass up a tawdry hook-up but not in a limo bus. The Miss Monique of 2008 has standards, y’all. STANDARDS.

Yes, this from the woman who hasn’t shaved her legs in God knows how long and only has condoms because two of the bitches left their “safer sex” packets at my place. And I don’t know if I really trust those condoms, you know, and I’m certainly not going to use the grape-flavored lube. YUCK.

But back to my main point. I haven’t had sex in 2008. Gah. Now, I am not clear on how I am going to find someone with whom to knock boots, but I better. And soon. For quite some time, I was like, eh, whatever. Lately, though, it’s like every day I am reminded, probably because my friend S., who hadn’t had sex for like 2 years, got some and keeps frickin’ talking about it. I KNOW YOU GOT LUCKY. HOW WONDERFUL FOR YOU. Nah, I’m happy for her. But I’d be happier if it were me gettin’ some.

My options are kind of limited at the moment. Actually extremely limited. I would only call Limo Guy if I were in a dire emergency, although I don’t know what kind of dire emergency that would be, mainly because it took me 6 damn months to get rid of the buffoon. There’s MM, and the girls and I discussed making a move on him, bu he is an unknown quantity. The man could have a dick of gold or he could not. I don’t know. And I’d be really disappointed if I went after him just to get laid and it was nothing to write home about. If a girl is gonna feel cheap, she better feel cheap and happy, ya know? Even though I’ve been talking to him here and there (shut up, I KNOW, ok?!), I don’t see myself doing that, if only because (a) gas costs too much to do it at his house and (b) I’m too busy during the week for that shit.

Le sigh.

Oh well. Back to Social Me. Maybe some guy in Turkey will fly over here to get laid. LOL

∗ Posted by Monique on 05.28.2008
∗ Accomplishments, Let's get it on, My life