Last night I was lying awake, thinking about MM and my feelings for him. Like I’ve said before, I’m just not 100%, ya know? And part of it is time … with his house, if we spend time together, it’s with a bunch of other people around, or we hang out during the week, which isn’t a best-case scenario either. I pretty much knew that from the get-go but it’s still annoying to have to make other plans on the weekend. I had planned to share my concerns with MM tonight, not really in a way that showed ambivalence but more like, what can we do about this?

But … his father is in poor health … dementia and other issues … and apparently has taken a turn for the worse. MM texted me while I was at lunch asking if we could reschedule for next week, then clarifying that the family is having a conference call tonight (they are all in different states) to discuss the options for his father’s care. So now I get to watch the debate and the Red Wings game, uninterrupted, but I also have to deal with these nagging doubts for a few more days.

It sucks that we’re both so busy. I usually have something going on every night of the week, it seems, and then the weekends are a crap shoot. I have plans both Friday and Saturday nights but I’d like to spend some time curled up with MM too. I like MM a lot but the timing might just not be right on this one or I may need to reevaluate what I’m willing to deal with …