I, somehow, have a “look” that makes people think that they know me. Unfortunately it’s never attractive single men who “think” they know me; it’s usually some random person who says, “Oh I thought you were my cousin’s Sue’s daughter” or something like that. I don’t think I look like anyone, except for the girl my ex-husband dated before me, but whatever.

So tonight I was at church and there’s always this semi-awkward meet-and-greet period where you’re supposed to say hello to the people seated around you. Except it’s a big chapel and in the winter (and on a football Sunday) attendance is down, so you have to get up and walk around to meet people. And it always seems to go on for like a minute longer than I’d like and I end up standing there feeling awkward. Tonight I was wandering and this guy in a black suit and black shirt with black hair shook my hand and introduced himself as Tony. I told him my name and he repeated it, staring intently at me. I was momentarily flattered until I saw him do that to the next person he met LOL. Turns out that Tony is one of the student pastors (he looked to be about 5 years older than me but I guess “adult learner pastor” doesn’t have the same ring to it).

At first I was thinking, hmmm, Tony’s kinda cute. Before Communion, I saw that he was going to be on my side of the church (Communion is by intinction). Score. I also saw that he was holding the Chalice and stood, initially, before the guy holding the bread. Uh-huh. Anyway, when I got up to him — I never know what to do, say “thank you?” when the person says, “The body of Christ” … I mean, what’s a proper response? And it’s even weirder to say “thank you” when the person with the juice says, “The blood of Christ, shed for you.” ANYWAY, I looked at Tony, up close, and realized he looks just like my ex-husband! It’s like my ex-husband’s head was on this man’s body! I was totally freaked out and in fact did not say “thank you” or anything at all after dipping my piece of bread into the cup. THEN I had to shake this crazy Tony-Josh person’s hand when I left the chapel at the end of the service!

So while I initially thought that Tony would be someone cute to check out at church (so sue me, whatever), no no no no NO says Miss Monique! It’s bad enough when a guy reminds me of Josh. But to actually look like him??? Gah. Apparently God was sending me a message there, and that message, loud and clear, says STAY AWAY FROM TONY!