My brother’s girlfriend, Jess, txted me tonight. I’m not even sure why. I like her even though our interaction has been limited to e-mail and txt message. She seems like a smart girl and is actually going to get her master’s degree. Add that to her giant tattoo and she is the best of the bunch so far. Anyway, she sends me a message asking if I know what “city club” is. I had no idea if she was talking about a place, a band, a restaurant or what. She replied that it was a bar and I said that I was old and unhip … but I guess it’s been around for over 30 years LOL. Detroit was about the last place my friends and I would have gone drinking. But it’s nice that Jess has this awesome image of me as a hipster, even if it is becoming painfully clear I am far from it!
I called my doctor’s office today about a bill I received. Sigh. I got a denial letter from the insurer — the insurer I fucking had THREE YEARS AGO. They also submitted the charges under my married name, a name which has not been legally mine for more than two years. Mind you, I’ve been going to this practice for more than seven years. The gist of it was that whomever billed my last two office visits to my ex-husband’s insurance LOL. The woman I talked to must have been divorced, too, because when I said we hadn’t been married for more than two years, she said, “Huh. You think he would have noticed by now.” She “hid” the relationship between me and Josh in the system so hopefully that should be that. At the beginning of the year, when I reviewed my info, they had my mailing address as the apartment he lived in after we divorced. WTF? If someone at the doctor’s office is trying to play cupid, it ain’t gonna work!
I am amassing quite the collection of cute little marble magnets. If you’d like a box of six (Miss Monique’s choice, of course), e-mail me (monique at whenwewereliars dot com)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
Made it through my 2 1/2 days of meetings, the best part of which involved waking up 90 minutes earlier than usual in order to make it downtown on time. Tuesday I was gone 12 hours, yesterday, 15 hours. Today, we wrapped up about 1:30 p.m. and the boss told us to just go home and check e-mail unless we had critical work to do in the office. Thank you baby jesus, ’cause I’m so brain dead I wouldn’t have been able to do anything much.
I am so looking forward to the long weekend. Tomorrow night I’m going out to a Greek restaurant and then to a (free) play with friends. Other than that, my time is wiiiiiiide open; I plan to drink a lot and continue to weed through my possessions in advance of moving. Good times.
I owe mucho thanks to Angel for filling in for me last night on Scandalous Bitches Live. I called in near the end but didn’t have much to contribute LOL. I have another venture to add to the list: Dramedy Girl asked me to contribute to Fluff an awesome site that keeps you up to date on all kinds of shit. I’ll be mostly promoting SBL and providing some fun little blogging gossip items.
I seriously PPH the show Snapped on Oxygen. It’s about women who go bonkers and commit murder or whatever. I love it. It’s amazing how many crazy gals there are out there. Sheesh.
I told my parents tonight that I am not moving back to Michigan, at least not now. They were disappointed, of course, although my mom understood when I said I would be too isolated, that the only people I know there are them, my brother and my friend Jennifer. She’s excited I’m moving downtown. My dad was sad. I could tell. He got off the phone in a hurry. I hope he wasn’t too upset. He was also bummed I’m not going up there for Labor Day. Sign me up for daughter of the year. Sheesh.
I’ve been kind of down lately and I haven’t yet figured out why. I haven’t been hiding myself away, I’ve been around my friends a lot but I’m just feeling … blah. At least I can laugh at myself when I get all dramatic and melancholy, as I know this isn’t the serious stuff. It’s just Miss Monique feeling bored. I’m not the only one either — several bitches have been complaining that they are bored. I’ll be shaking up my routine soon enough, I suppose, when I move in the next several weeks …
Once again … I was snacked on!
Now, I feel compelled to say some words in my defense. NYC Watchdog is portraying himself as the victim here. Nay. I am here to tell you that Dawg LIES. He lies lies lies lies lies. LIES!
Way back in April, when I did my mini-series Easter Candy Sunday, Dawg decided that we should have a head-to-head video competition. As if. Tons of people watch his videos (although I’ve already admitted that my attention span is short and I don’t always watch. Oopsie) and my posse is much smaller — albeit way cooler and hotter — than his. Dawg thought that just because his clip got more hits, that I should eat a Cadbury Egg out of my cleavage.
Again, as if. I believe my exact words were, “Dude, my DAD watches YouTube!”
Thennnnnnnnnnnn while trying to start a bidding war between Dawg and Mr. Fab, in terms of donations for the Blogathon, I mentioned that the highest donor would get the video clip. Well, Dawg went above and beyond. I believe my exact words were, “Fuck.” He told me he had saved Cadbury Eggs and would mail them to me. Then he told me he HAD mailed them to me. LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES. I never received said Cadbury Eggs … and Dawg challenged me to a fight and stole my street cred on Crackbook, all to back up his cauldron of LIES!
So there you have. The full and complete story. The end.
Miss Lucy, “boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
Why am I annoyed? Well, (a) because I’ve been drinking. But (b) because …
- I haven’t talked to Limo Guy in a few days. That’s really only mildly annoying.
- A guy I haven’t heard from in over a week IMd me tonight then made an attempt at conversation that did not even reach the level of “lame.” Tragique.
- A third guy has called me a few times and we’ve talked on the phone but still don’t have plans to get together. OMFG I don’t want a fucking penpal. I have Laci, Soda, Lucy, Izzy … and on and on … for that LOL.
Ummm that’s about it. 
It’s been a busy few days. On Thursday I went downtown to look at that second apartment — which was fab-u and hopefully it will be mine come October 1 — and while I was gone, my work BFF turned in her resignation. Now, I knew it was going to happen, her boss was an evil, hateful bitch but still. I’ve talked to her a few times since, though, and she sounds tons better … which is great because, honestly, she’s been kind of a downer to be around this year!
Yesterday I had to fill a few people in — of course people come to Miss Monique for the details! — plus deal with deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. Last night I took my friend K. out for her 40th birthday; we went to the Cheesecake Factory since I had a $25 gift card I had been itching to use. K. bought the first round of drinks — chocolate martini for her, lemon drop martini for me — and I paid for dinner and the second round. We ate outside and narrowly missed a fucking monsoon; it hadn’t rained like that in I don’t know how long. So we went to Sephora and tried on lots of make-up … although we forbade each other to do any drunk shopping. I am really jonesing for some Nars blush (in Orgasm, natch) … I used to wear that color and it looked quite fab. I may go back for it this weekend. 
The latest edition of Scandalous Bitches Live is in the can, or whatever it is that you say. We had fun tonight; one of us will put up a recap over on Scandalous Bitches.
I had a crapola day at work. Well, not really, just busy and hectic and that’s how the next month is going to be. Big ol’ stressful deadlines hanging over me. I don’t initially cope well. I need time to process and think, ok, I can do this, it’s going to be ok, sssh, sssh, sssh. But all this shit hit the fan about 3:30 p.m. and I thought, fuck it, and txted Limo Guy back and said, you know what? I’ll meet up with you after all — and boy am I glad I did. I do feel like I am playing the odds here, I mean how many times can we have sex in a fucking limo bus without being noticed? But shit, it’s been fabulous so far …
I made a completely and totally unnecessary purchase today: a new phone! Not just any phone … a Sidekick! Ok, it’s a Sidekick ID because it was $150 cheaper to get it without the camera and MP3 player. Even the T-Mobile girl urged me to get the ID. I immediately e-mailed Lucy, who was tres jealous, of course. Silly girl has Sprint. Hee hee hee. It should arrive by Friday so I can spend all weekend txting on a real keyboard. Wheeee! I love my hot pink Razr but … I can buy a hot pink skin for the Sidekick. 
Limo Guy sent me a 30-second video of himself jerking off. It was oddly compelling. I guess he has too much time on his hands, literally. We’ve been trying to figure out when to get together but, eh, it’s just too much trouble, you know? I don’t want to get into another situation like I was in for two years — y’all know what I mean — and I don’t really do emotional detachment all that well. Ok, except for when it comes to men like Stalks-with-Small-Penis. Speaking of, he e-mailed me yesterday to see how I was. I considered sending him the picture of Limo Guy’s dick, which is roughly 12x larger than SWSP’s but, ultimately, I ignored the message. Poor little punkin’ still wants a piece of Miss Monique but I ain’t interested. *Shudder*
At least Sodapop and Lucy think so. They should know better. Here’s the scoop:
“This award is for those bloggers who are nice people, good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence in our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded, please pass it on to 7 people who you feel are deserving.â€
Seven? WTF? I hate these things because I hate choosing people. I’m a Libra and I want everyone to be happy. But if I must, I’m going to go with: Angel, Frankie, Sodapop, Laci, Tori, Lucy and Julie.
Okay, bitches, want to know why I’m not a nice girl … just a little bit of fun today with the new FWB, his limo bus with mirrored, tinted windows and a deserted parking lot. Fan-fucking-tastic.
