So after the scandalous weekend — which was mocked during the return of IT2M fuck you very much — my beloved Ricardo seems to have been inspired. Not one but TWO hot women want to meet him. I told him I’d fucking bitchslap him if he didn’t go for both opportunities. Ok maybe I just said slap but now that I’ve thought about it, I would indeed fucking bitchslap him.
I am drinking a margarita. Sigh. This Cuervo margarita mix kinda hides the taste of the Cuervo tequila. Especially when I’m drinking 1/2 cup of tequila. LOL By the time Bill gets here, I should be nice and tipsy. I’m also wearing a white tank top with a lacy coffee-colored bra (not to be confused with Laci’s coffee-colored bra. LOL If indeed she has one.). Girlfriend knows what she’s doing. He’s not working tomorrow either. Let your minds work overtime on that one.
So last night he fucking dropped the L-word. As in “I’m falling in love with you.” What the fuckity-fuck??? At least time I didn’t say it back. I was like, that’s a serious thing blah blah blah. Tonight he will hear the story of what happened the last time Miss Monique said I love you. My beloved Izzy — everyone is my beloved when I am drinking tequila — is jealous. Heh. She gets more action than me though so it all works out. Adoration is nice though.
I can’t FUCKING WAIT to get my $$ from the sale of the company I work for so I can go on my grand tour of the east coast. Or at least Boston to see my beloved Janda — and perhaps even the elusive Mr. Janda! — and then the aforementioned beloved Ricardo, Izzy and perhaps — perhaps! — even my beloved NYC Watchdog. Ah, so much love, I can’t even stand it! If the midwest were more of a hotspot, perhaps y’all would come visit me but alas a girl can’t have everything.
Fuck me, I need more tequila. Where’s Lucy when I need her? Sister needs a drinking buddy!!!!
Stole this from SodaPop
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The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)
shmolorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.
Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you’re the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.
You don’t seem to take yourself too seriously, and that’s refreshing. You aren’t uptight; you don’t over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn’t a top priority–a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven’t had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You’re very selective.
Your exact female opposite:
The Dirty Little Secret
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master |
The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You’re out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.
“You’re never truly single as long as you have yourself.”
ALWAYS AVOID: The Bachelor (DGSM)
CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail (RBLM). |
Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating. |
So my hair girl, the lovely and talented Miss Amber, taught me two new words last night: Rusted trombone and Blumpkin. Read at your own risk.
The lovely and talented Miss Amber learned such words while on vacation last week. Apparently two new dinner companions remarked that they enjoyed such acts.
I’m going to go puke now.
I had one of the greatest moments of my career today. The big boss, with whom I generally don’t get along, was effusive with praise when it came to the first two courses I fully wrote myself. The words brilliant, perfect and outstanding were used, repeatedly. He praised the team, he praised me individually. He called my courses a new standard to which other courses will be held. Fuck yeah!
Met Bill tonight. Holy shit, y’all. I was NOT expecting to like him. Well, not as much as I did. Like 10 trillion times cuter than his picture. OMG. Amazing blue eyes. We were at Starbucks in a corner table and he actually kissed me, across the table. It if hadn’t been for the woman a few tables over, I probably would have lost my clothes. LOL Ok, not really, but it was a hell of a kiss. Eventually we decided to go downtown to the canal. As I was driving, we went past one of my favorite pizza places, I said fuck it, I’m hungry. As I was about to get out of the car, he leaned over and kissed me again … 10 minutes of making out in the car later — for you long-time readers, this was the same street ex-bf Mark and I made out on 18 months ago — we made it into the restaurant.
Sigh. If I had been so inclined, I could have gotten major action tonight … but alas, I wasn’t so inclined … anticipation only makes ya stronger. 
I spent another 2 hrs., 45 min. on the phone with Bill tonight. We have tentative plans for dinner tomorrow. I have a hair appt at 5 p.m., so Miss Amber will be able to make me look all fabulous and shit; I’ll bring a trampy shirt and gussy up at the salon. Bill continues to intrigue me … needless to say I am looking forward to tomorrow. He may come over during the Blogathon; I warned him though that y’all will know about it and I’ll have to put him on the webcam so everyone can pass judgment. 
After I got off the phone, I got myself laughing, thinking about Laci, Sodapop, Chatty and the other Blogathoners blasting me with air horns or something to make sure I was sticking to the task at hand … i.e. the Blogathon.
I was insanely productive at work today. Bill sent me some txts but not of the obsessive quantity that came from Jason. Speaking of, his friend Brian sent out a MySpace bulletin that he and his ex/current/whatever are pregnan. I sent him a congratulatory e-mail. I looked at Jason’s MySpace page and I was just like, huh. Like that all seems so long ago when it’s been barely a month. Oh well, the circle of life, y’all. LOL
I sent my father the following e-mail:
So Mom already shot me down due to the remodeling, although I pointed out it was a bit tacky that I was doing this blogathon in honor of HER MOTHER and she wouldn’t commit to anything.
Can I put you down for $20? That’s what my coworker gave me (her father-in-law has Parkinsons) … and she’s pregnant and her husband is like an artistic blacksmith or something like that. Not that I’m trying to guilt you or anything. … but that will put me at $100. 
Thanks Daddy
He fucking better pony up the cash. Sheesh.
Speaking of the Blogathon, I bought a 24-pack of Diet Mountain Dew at Super Wal-Mart tonight. I also bought a package of Little Debby orange cupcakes but fuck, they’re good. I may have to lock them up so I have some left Saturday! I’m also going to take my laptop over to Panera Thursday night to make sure I can pick up their wifi signal … that way I can at least get out of the house some Saturday.
Ooh here we go. I’m such a late-in-life Daddy’s Girl LOL:
Hey Girl: Of course you can put me down for $20.
Take care. Love, Dad
At 7 p.m., I was ready to curl up on the couch and pass out. Now it’s nearly 11 and I’m all jacked up. I had a large iced coffee from McD’s on my drive home today so who knows how much caffeine I ingested.
Talked to the new guy tonight for damn near 3 hours. At first I was like, OMG, he talks. so. much. I even sent e-mails to Laci and Sodapop to that effect. But he grew on me. He’s 35 and been married twice, which surprised me. But I also have three friends that I can think of off-hand that have been married at least three times lol. He is different from my usual “type,” very blue collar, but that doesn’t bother me. Half of my family is blue collar, I just got the snotty genes. We are going to have dinner Tuesday, unless he has to work; otherwise, he may come over Saturday night to hang out with me during the blogathon … in which case I will put him on webcam so y’all can pass judgment on him. LOL
Speaking of, we were talking about the blogathon and he mentioned that he used to have a blog but he deleted it. I did not say a damn word about mine, I just said that I read a lot of them. No harm, no foul, right??? He also said he writes poetry sometimes. He is very intriguing. Oh, and he also has family in the suburb where I was born. WTF? Everybody in the fucking world has family in the Detroit suburbs, I swear!
Evansville, Indiana — not the hot spot.
I mean, I knew it wasn’t the coolest place ever, but last night, it took me and Laci like 30 minutes just to find a non-fast-food restaurant to eat at. We ended up at a Mexican place, the margaritas were good and the waiters were cute. We tried to go see Hairspray but missed it by 30 minutes. 
Now we’re at Panera, using the free wi-fi. Yee haw. We’re planning to get drunk at Applebees tonight then walking over to the movie theater. So if you haven’t gotten a drunk txt, don’t worry. The day is still young.
Laci is super cool and she’s been fun at least! Y’all will have to make plans to join us for Scandalous Weekend II: The Sequel!
If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll post an audio update or two. : D
Expect a full recap on Sunday …
