Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I could barely get out of bed and into the shower today. It’s 8:41, I have to leave for the dentist in 30 minutes and I’m sitting around with wet hair, in bed. I just had another crying fit. I know he’s not worth my time but it still hurts to be treated like that.

I reread the long e-mail he sent me. The way he describes this girl … basically she treated him like shit. When I was able to focus on his words, I saw that he hadn’t decided what to do or where things were going with her or what would make him happy. But tough shit. To me saying I love you implies a commitment and you don’t do what he did. Tori had a good theory, that someone from his group was still friends with her and called her after Saturday night and she felt threatened and called Jason. I just want to rant and rave at him and the fact that he won’t let me makes it worse.

Last night I called my mom and asked if they could come down here this weekend. I told her I needed them. She hemmed and hawed, blaming the remodelers. She asked if I could come up there; I said it was such a long drive. I’ve already done it about 5 times. She suggested a flight, but they’re so expensive. I don’t know. I just don’t know. The thought of driving all that way, taking time off from work when I really need to be there … but I also know I’m not going to be able to focus very much at work either.

∗ Posted by Monique on 06.27.2007
∗ Annoyances