Went over to Scott’s this afternoon. He grilled kielbasa for dinner. Yum. I heart just about anything cooked on a grill. We watched part of The Life Aquatic, one of my favoritest movies. I could tell he didn’t like it so I finally turned it off. It always makes me cry and I can do that at home!
The all-seeing, all-knowing Izzy told me today that while Scott may turn out to be a dumbass or even an asshole, I will only screw things up if I keep waiting for him to turn out to be a “Ryan.” Sounds simple enough, right? But try telling that to my brain. Sigh. Scott calls daily, wants to see me often, is affectionate, acts in a caring and considerate manner … yet I am basically making him pay for the last two years of my life. As ridiculous as it sounds in writing, I fear that if I take things to the next level in the relationship (wink wink), I won’t see or hear from him for weeks. Has he done ANYTHING to give me the impression that he would do that? Not one damn thing. Double sigh.
Things feel different with this one. So keep your fingers crossed for me, that I’ve actually learned something over the past two years. I know nice guys exist, I just didn’t think there were any left for me!
Hmmm … what else did I learn today? Scott has been divorced for over 3 years. His ex gave him back the jewelry he gave her (ouch), including her engagement ring. He’s held onto it for this long. Today he called the jeweler he bought it from to get the 4 C’s info so he can sell the ring. That pleased me. He said he didn’t want to turn the ring back in when he bought another engagement ring. I, on the other hand, have no issue with that and would gladly use my old diamond to get a big-ass rock next time around. But at least then it would be my old diamond and not someone else’s. His dog is totally enamored with me. She kept crawling across him on the couch so I could pet her. She’s so cute, she kept looking up at me adoringly. As much as I love my kitties, they just don’t show appreciation like that.
All in all, this is just a minor freak-out I’m experiencing. I don’t even know if I’d call it a freak-out. I haven’t cried, I haven’t said anything I didn’t mean, I haven’t even made any panicky phone calls to friends (panicky e-mail to Izzy notwithstanding). Sigh. I just need a good night’s sleep and to hit the treadmill tomorrow after work. That will clear my head and everything will be a-ok …
| 1.7 |
∗ Posted by 
∗ Love life
I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking things a bit slower. If you talk to Scott and explain why you want to take things slowly and he understands and will wait for you, that will tell you what type of man he really is. From what you’ve posted about him, he doesn’t sounds like he’s trying to rush things anyway.
Comment by
Jen (Who am I?) - April 23, 2007 8:56 am
I think that you are moving as fast (or slow) as you are comfortable with. That is ok…. But eventually you will probably have to step out of your comfort zone… And that is ok too… Just be gentle to yourself, I know from experience that it is always easier to stay with my heart guarded… Eventually though you have to let them in or let them go… it is only fair…. I know you would want him to do the same thing… Right?
Hugs!
Comment by
themuttprincess (Who am I?) - April 23, 2007 11:54 am
Perfectly normal feelings you are having. Of course you don’t want a repeat of Ryan so you are extra cautious. Nothing wrong with going at the pace you are most comfortable with. If he rushes you, then he’s not the right one. The right one will wait when they know they have a good thing. You are a good thing! And I think he knows it too!
Comment by
Janda (Who am I?) - April 23, 2007 6:44 pm
Thanks ladies. Sometimes I think too much. And today I was thinking that I want to get me some.
Comment by
Monique (Who am I?) - April 23, 2007 9:14 pm