I went to the doctor this morning and only had to wait 40 minutes past my appointment time before I actually saw him. Sigh. Anyway, he gave me new meds to try — God bless samples — and even on the half dose, I have been totally whacked out all day. I took a nap when I got home and have barely left the couch all night. I also have a new mole that is growing, that the dr wants to recheck next month. Alas, that means my tanning days are over, as the spot is on my shoulder, near my bra strap, a place that only sees the artificial sun …
So I noticed that Ricardo changed the name of his blog to Unloaded. That’s hot. Makes me think of a Jean-Claude movie or something. Or maybe it’s the drugs, who knows. Anyway he’s back to blogging after a long absence finishing his latest screenplay. And “he” would be Ricardo, not Jean-Claude, although if Jean-Claude Van Damme had a blog, I’d probably read it.
I went to Weight Watchers tonight and despite my diligence Friday-Sunday, I still gained 1.4 lbs. Gah. I guess that’s what 8-10 raspberry lemontinis and no WW food for four days will do to me. What made it worse was that the old biddy told me I had lost a pound. WTF-ever lady, thanks for getting my hopes up.
Snow is on the way tonight … looks like I’ll be able to bust out the four-wheel drive for the first time in about a year. Yay. My friend sent me a snarky e-mail today, saying “I assume Monique is working from home tomorrow?” Yeah yeah yeah. Alas I must go in for that conference call/webcast, as I don’t want to use my cell minutes. But he knows me well, as I’d stay home at the slightest provocation. I do have work to be done here too. The glamorous life of an instructional designer.
So my dad tells me tonight, at the end of our weekly phone call, that he didn’t send me a valentine this year.
My oh-so-mature response was, “Oh my God, Dad!”
He always sends me a valentine. Always always always. He promised to find an online card to send.
At least Mr. Fab already sent me an anti-valentine.
Sniff.
One of my least favorite work responsibilities is upon me … the biannual, two-to-three day, six-hours-a-day conference call/web cast. Gah. It is awful. AWFUL. Several of us sit on the phone, going through our new material word-by-fucking-word. I used to get to run the show, but in my new role, alas, I just have to sit back and bark out corrections. It starts Tuesday. Think of me.
Another snowstorm is on the way, but I don’t even really care. The forecasters here blow everything out of proportion for so long that by the time a real storm hits, I’m like wtf-ever.
I want a new TV. I have to turn the volume up on mine so loud to watch a DVD. Tres annoying. And my cable box/DVR is totally on the fritz. I had a shitload of shows I recorded while I was gone, but the two I started to watch were all herky-jerky and crap. So I unplugged the cable box and … voila. All of my recordings are gone. Not cool. So I’ll be calling the cable company tomorrow morning. Speaking of DVDs, I watched “Derailed” yesterday. It wasn’t half-bad. The “twist” wasn’t too much of a surprise
And yeah … Valentine’s Day. Eh. Two years ago, I got flowers; last year, I was still smarting from a break-up; this year, I hope it all passes without incident.
Considering I didn’t get my mail until yesterday, I had five days’ worth to pry out of my mailbox and then go through. Gah. I started the task yesterday but gave up after sorting the piles into “deal with,” “trash” and “shred.” Part of the “deal with” pile was yet another letter from the IRS, this one stating that I owed $455 or so. My first thought was, fuck. But I looked at the letter again this morning and realized (a) it was addressed to me in my married name and (b) it referenced the 2004 tax year. Now I have to admit I actually sat here on the couch, wondering if I was still married in 2004 LOL. Yes, I was. So then I remembered last year, the ex and I got a letter from the IRS and most of the charges were related to his stock options and casino winnings (he drinks, he gambles, he calls phone sex lines … how could I ever have let him go?!?!?!?). Needless to say, I’ll be shipping that letter off to him on Monday. God bless interoffice mail.
My car lease is up next January, so I have to get a new one or buy this one, depending on what the cost is. I was planning to cash in some stock options to get a decent down payment. Ha. I work in an industry that the new Congressional majority isn’t too fond of so the stock has been decreasing to the point where I can’t count on the moola. So, going against my lazy tendencies when it comes to budgeting, it’s time for more belt-tightening and yes, a return to my favorite part-time job. Gah. The test scoring starts up again in early March and runs through mid-April, allegedly. I know how these things go, it will be later than that. Anyway, it works out to at least 5 full weeks, which ought to net me a grand or so, to be put in a bank account I can’t get to easily! I have to admit, as much as of a pain in the ass it is to work an extra 25 hours during the week, I kinda do enjoy being so busy.
I found out yesterday my business trip to NYC is off. “Budget cuts.” Gah. I had planned on some riotous fun with Izzy, Ricardo and NYC Watchdog. Alas, that must wait … I was going to ask one of my friends to come along too, thus adding to the riotous fun. Sigh.
I also found out some very sad news … growing up, my best friends were twin boys who lived behind me, Joel and Matthew. We played Star Wars together (although that was just me being nice, and because I could be Princess Leia) and CHiPs. One summer we watched “Aliens” every single day. Joel and I always had a thing going on, but never did anything about it because we decided it would just be too weird. We did get caught playing “doctor” when we were 4, although I have to point out I made him go first and I never showed him mine. 
Anyway, as we got into high school, Joel started smoking, hanging out with the kids we then called burnouts, and eventually got into drinking and drugs. We lost touch as I went off to college and he … went off to jail lol. He eventually got married, his DUI convictions passed, and he now has two little boys. Anyway, he was just diagnosed with stage 3 colon-rectal cancer. It’s an aggressive cancer but has a high survival rate. He has to undergo chemo and radiation. He’s only three months younger than me. I was very stunned by the news, esp. because they were expecting it to be stage 1 or 2. But Joel is very optimistic, which is good.
Ok, back to the pile of mail …
So Monday I left home bright and early — 6:30 a.m. to be exact — which was super cool, considering we ended up spending 45 minutes on the fucking plane “waiting for paperwork.” Once that crisis, later determined to be Super Bowl related, was over, we flew to Chicago — and I had roughly 10 minutes before my next flight left. So I ran — I repeat, I RAN — about 15 gates, bypassing Starbucks, bypassing restaurants, and made it on the plane. And then we sat for TWO FUCKING HOURS on the plane. OMG. It was unbelievable. We couldn’t get off, just had to sit. The issue this time was that it was too cold to fuel the plane. Uh huh. This delay also was determined to be Super Bowl related, as so many people had called in sick at O’Hare. Gah. Anyway, “A Very Good Year” with Russell Crowe is a very bad movie, but “Marie Antoinette” was pretty good. The flight attendants started the first movie while we were on the tarmac. That’s never a good sign.
Anyway, the conference was ok; the time difference was rough. The temperature was about 80 when we arrived, but dropped to the low 60s on the other days. I know, whine whine, but it was cold and damp. I only had one night of mischief, as I consumed somewhere between eight and 10 (best guess) raspberry lemontinis. I had not been that drunk in a very long time. I was stumbling, laughing and generally having a very good time. About 15 of us ended up at a karaoke bar next to the restaurant and across from the hotel, and I stayed there until 1:30 a.m. (4:30 a.m. at home). I danced with young men named Emilio and Jorge, who I think were gigilos, as Emilio was dancing with me just to find out which of my friends were gay. Of course, at the time, the conversation made perfect sense. I also ended up, despite my protestations, dancing multiple times with a colleague. It was a bit uncomfortable, as he holds himself out to be a devout Christian family man and well, let’s just say I have my suspicions. Anyway, we did a very poor imitation of the two-step to some drunk guy singing “Forever and Ever Amen” by Randy Travis.
Not once, not twice, but three times I was asked, by different colleagues who don’t see me very often, variations of “Why are you so quiet?” The first time I laughed it off, the second time it wasn’t so easy and the third time concerned me. I’ve known for a while that something isn’t quite right with me and after last weekend’s dramatics, I started to think more about it. It’s not that I’m unhappy, but I’m definitely not happy, and I don’t really have reason to not be. But I’ve gone through this enough to my life to realize what it is and what to do about it. And this will all seem very familiar to you or it won’t.
I took this photo with my phone the first night I arrived in California, from my balcony.
I love the ocean. It brings me peace. Tuesday morning, a friend and I took a 40-minute walk up and down the beach. It was glorious. The waves, the water, the big rocks …
But it is very very nice to be home.
Made it to and from California, although not without incident.
I scored an awesome suite with the most beautiful view of the ocean. Photos to come.
I’m cold now. Brrrrr.
This was part of my horoscope today –
If you’re feeling stuck in a rut right now, one of the best things you can do is let go of any grudges you’ve been holding — you’ll feel as though you’ve just attached a hundred helium balloons to your soul. Holding on to memories of how you were wronged isn’t going to make things right again. Forgiving (or at least forgetting) will. Move forward, and leave the wrongdoers in your past, where they belong.
My brother and I sometimes laugh about our mother and grudges. She always points out when other people hold them, but can never see her own negativity. Of course, like we all do, I have taken on certain traits of my mother’s — I have been focusing lately on what I’m not getting out of different relationships and friendships, instead of what I am.
Step One in Be Good to Monique year was joining Weight Watchers (down another 2.4 lbs. today). Step Two is accepting the gifts of the people in my life and not wanting more or less than they can give. Now, that doesn’t mean that I’ll take whatever I get. It means that if I know someone is only capable of giving me X, I’m not going to expect X + 1. Like, I’m thinking of one friend that I could call at 3 a.m. if I needed a ride home but not if I wanted sympathy over a bad day at work, because his strength is is doing, not in being. And there’s another friend that always come through in a crisis for me — when I really need emotional support — but we get on each other’s nerves during the down times.
What can you let go?
Good God it’s cold outside. Four degrees, as a matter of fact. I just took the trash out and carried two cases of 35 water bottles in (working out is good for something, I guess) and my ass still is numb. I was outside maybe 5 minutes total. My glasses fogged up while I was driving to the dumpster, causing somewhat of a vision hazard, but I was the only dumbass driving around my neighborhood.
I just looked at the weather and the overnight low is going to be -4. At least I’ll be in somewhat warmer weather by tomorrow afternoon. It’s supposed to be in the upper 60s to around 70 in Laguna Beach. My colleagues all are acting like it’s summer. Whatever, I’m still cold in those temps. While I am packing sandals, I also am packing long-sleeved or 3/4-sleeve shirts to wear. I need to figure out my game plan for the flight. An hour to O’Hare, then over four hours to the OC. Gah. That’s way too long for me to sit still.
Speaking of my trip, I’m not bringing my computer. So no posts, no e-mails, no IMs from me until I get back, which barring any blizzards in Denver, should be about 11 p.m. Thursday. Well, I may have one post that goes up while I’m gone, I haven’t decided.
Tagged by K at A Yoga Coffee Outlook.
Five Things You May Not Know About Me
1. My favoritest book ever is “The Family Minus.” I have two copies I bought from eBay.
2. I’m scared of grasshoppers.
3. I can’t stand the sound/feel of snow crunching under my feet.
4. I lied to my then-husband about rear-ending another car. I can’t remember why. All the damage was done to my car anyway.
5. I gave a book of smutty stories I wrote as a birthday gift.
Who’s next?
Kat
Janda
Frankie
Brutal Honesty
and not all of her, was what hurt them both.” A while ago I posted that I tend to watch movies that either make me laugh or break my heart. Sigh. The other night I watched “ShopGirl” with Steve Martin and Claire Danes. I already listened to the audio book, so I knew the story and I knew that the end made me sob. The movie was no exception. I skipped the middle, as I knew what was going to happen, and went straight to the last four scenes. Oh good gracious. It was like every line was designed to evoke tears in Miss Monique. I won’t bore you with the details but suffice it to say the final scene between Ray and Mirabelle led to some wipe-away-the-eye-make-up kind of crying.
There’s kind of a big deal in the news here about local churches wanting to show the Super Bowl. The NFL is well-known for its protective policies, and sent a letter to a church outlining what’s acceptable — namely no usage of “Super Bowl,” and the game can’t be shown on a TV larger than 55″. The NFL also doesn’t want the Super Bowl involved with any sort of “message” event. Yeah, it’s a bitch, but whatever. The NFL can make the rules. So today I read that a different church here is going to defy the NFL because the church is taking “a stand for what’s right.” Give me a break. Read about it here.
