Oh It Just Keeps Getting Better!

I went into work today, gleefully returning to the world of people.

Talk, talk, talk — I couldn’t stop talking! It was wonderful.

Then my dr’s nurse called.

Da da da dummmmmm
She strong-armed me into coming back in to see the doctor and set an appointment approximately 45 minutes later. Yay, great. So once I got there, I was poked in the finger for a mono test. Negative. Then — oh the indignity! — I had to drop my drawers (thank God I wore good underwear), bend over the exam table and take a SHOT IN THE ASS.

It hurt like a motherfucker.

In fact, it still hurts.

Then, I had to book it — sitting on my sore ass, of course — to a CT scan appointment. I had roughly 20 minutes for a drive that usually takes that long, if not longer. I made it on time, only to find out that the latest round of medical fun would involve an iodine IV. That made for 3 (well, 4 if you count the two attempts at starting the IV) pricks of the needle in roughly an hour.

The CT scan was a breeze after the needle in my ass. The iodine felt warm and gooey, and I could feel it spreading throughout the left side of my body. Kind of cozy!

So now I’m waiting to hear back from the doctor about the CT scan. I don’t know if he’ll call tonight, this weekend or Monday. I’m just hoping it’s not an abscess, or if it is, the super-duper ass shot does its thing — because the last thing I want is a NEEDLE IN MY NECK to drain the abscess. Eww eww eww. I want to faint thinking about it.

Yay, another, oh, 48 hours on the couch for me this weekend. Hot damn.

As my mother pointed out, all of this shit happened when I started trying to be healthy (I haven’t felt right since the disastrous six-mile walk a few weeks ago). I should take up smoking or something, just to counteract all of this shit. Sigh. Maybe I’ll just eat something from DQ this weekend. But that would involve ordering with my froggy voice. Damn it all. Maybe I’ll just keep on with my popsicles. Ooh, the excitement of my life!!!