It’s been a blah weekend.

I saw my ex again yesterday, that was a special treat. Twice in three damn days — why now, after previously running into him once in the past 18 months??? He drives a Mercedes now. I had to laugh — the guy who didn’t even know how to deal with valet parking now has a “luxury” car. That is so him — all about appearances, nothing of substance.

Don’t get me wrong, I was upset to see him — I don’t know if he saw me — but that’s mainly because I spent my weekend alone. My plans for last night fell through so I had way too much time to think. It doesn’t help matters that the only man who has shown interest in dating me over the past 4 months was one that I had no interest in. Sigh.

I’ve thought about moving, but I don’t know if it’s my location that is making me unhappy or if I’m making myself unhappy. I’ve lived in Indiana since 1998 and what do I have to show for it? A job at a company that made it very clear to me last week that my position is not valued. A few friends. A nice apartment. An ex-husband and a couple of ex-boyfriends. My cats. That’s how my nearly eight years here breaks down …

My parents want me to move back to Detroit. I couldn’t afford to live near them; I’d be 20 minutes away at best. And with my brother’s crazy hours, we couldn’t get a house together — we’d always be waking the other up.

So I don’t know what to do. My lease is up at the end of October and I feel entirely unequipped to make any sort of decision. Maybe I should stick it out another year here, save more money, think things through.

Sigh. I don’t like it when I feel like this. But I guess the pendulum has to swing back sometime from frivolous and carefree. And I’m not trying to bring any of y’all down. I’m just trying to work it all out …

∗ Posted by Monique on 08.13.2006
∗ My life