Tori Spelling is only going to inherit $800k from her dad’s estate — or 0.16% of the total!

And I thought my mom was a bitch sometimes lol.

Read more about it here.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.27.2006
∗ Television
∗ Comments (1)

Raise your hand if you’re surprised that Lance Bass of ‘Nsync is gay.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The bigger mystery is why that one guy wore his hair so it looked like a freakin’ mop on his head.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.26.2006
∗ Music
∗ Comments (5)

My IKEA dreams have been dashed.

First, the store was out of the table top I wanted, so I had to order it online. Today, I received an e-mail with my total charges — not yet charged to my card, thank God:

No tax, but shipping is fucking $285.80??? Is the table coming from fucking Sweden???

Forget that. I guess I’ll order something from Target and deal with the ensuing assembly issues.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.26.2006
∗ Annoyances
∗ Comments (2)

My mom and I watched “Super Size Me” this afternoon.

Now she’s frying perch for dinner.

We had to turn the TV up because the sizzling oil was too loud.

Sigh. I’ll be glad to get back to my pb&j meals!

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.25.2006
∗ Family
∗ Comments (2)

I had a nice bedroom. Lots of space, hardwood floors, big windows. Now it’s full of junk. Junk junk junk. Okay, so I haven’t lived here really in almost 15 years, minus a few summers during college. I didn’t expect my parents to keep my bedroom as-is. But I also didn’t expect to find two racks of my brother’s T-shirts in my room, either. T-shirts, people, these are just T-shirts!

Next up is the futon. Yes, Miss Monique somehow must sleep on this god-forsaken piece of plywood. Believe me, there’s no pillowtop mattress here. It’s a good thing that when I visit, I come alone, because this futon is like the anti-sex. There’s nothing hot about this, nothing at all. Ugh.

Behold the disturbing artwork. Some of it is from my own grandmother, I’m sad to say. The worst, though, is the weird-ass bonsai tree my brother’s ex painted. A bizarro Alice in Wonderland painting used to be in my room until I complained it gave me nightmares

 

Finally, there’s the computer workstation and assorted junk. No wonder I’m a slob. My entire family are packrats. What is all this shit?

 

I must make a special note of the wallpaper. I picked it out when I was 4. It has been in place since 1978!!! God knows what my mother used to apply it. Looking around, I don’t even see any loose spots. The flowers form patterns. If you’re feeling ill, or perhaps drunk, the patterns can make you dizzy. Children shouldn’t be allowed to pick out wallpaper. I’m just saying.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.25.2006
∗ Uncategorized
∗ Comments (3)

I did my 4 miles this morning. I managed not to die. Miles 2 and 4 were kind of a bitch, but overall it wasn’t too bad. It took me 1 hr., 17 minutes, which is about my normal outdoor pace of 18 min/mile, after allowing for a few minutes for time wasted at traffic lights. Sigh. What is the use of all of this walking if I’m not going to get any faster?! Sigh. But perservere I shall, as it is all part of the pursuit of a great ass.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.25.2006
∗ Walking
∗ Comments (1)

My purple girl is coming back.

My lovely design from my days back on Blogger featured a sassy drawing of a woman with her cat on a delightful purple background. How I loved her. How “me” was the design … sigh. I decided, after much deliberation, that these WP templates, although nifty, do not fit the complex woman that is Monique.

Okay, fine.

I’m vain.

I want my blog to look pretty.

Look for a return to the purple girl within the next few days.

I’m off from work this week … y’all want to come over for rosemary chicken to celebrate?

BYOB, okay … I’m on a budget. ; )

For the Pretty Pretty Panda reference, click here.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.24.2006
∗ Blogging
∗ Comments Off

from my trip to Chicago is of my friend, my mom and me. Okay, I did take a photo of a street sign for Wacker Drive, but that’s only because I knew it would make my friend laugh.

My mother and I have the exact same smile. It’s kind of freaky. Also freaky is her hair. I’m not sure why she’s growing it out. But she turned 60 today, so I can’t talk too much smack.

I’m walking 4 miles in the morning. I may die. It’s going to be like 90 tomorrow in the Detroit area, so I’m getting up at 6:30 a.m. to walk. That, too, may cause me to die. A nap and a return trip to IKEA are all I have planned for the day. Then on Wednesday, I’m driving back to Indiana. Which is kind of concerning, given that a sniper shot at a semi driver on the same route I’ll be taking. As if I’m not enough of a worrier.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.24.2006
∗ Family, Friends, Walking
∗ Comments Off

I love me some George Michael. Love love love. Wham!, his solo stuff, love it — well, except when he’s all mopey and shit. But “Father Figure” (aside from the creepy overtones), “Monkey,” “Freedom” (the original, with Wham!) — I can’t get enough — even now that he’s older and still working the 5 o’clock shadow look. I’m willing to overlook a lot in my men.

But how many lame-ass scandals can one man have???

First, there was the infamous sex-in-the-park scandal, which I think was just designed for him to “out” himself. Then, a few months ago, he was passed out in his car, after smoking pot or whatever. That was pretty lame. Now, supposedly, he’s been caught again with his pants down, as it were, with some icky guy. George is claiming it’s made up, but what the hell else would he be doing in a park, at night, in some bushes?

George’s partner is hot. Really really hot. Like my mouth fell open when I first saw his photo, in the CD booklet to George’s album “Patience.” It’s sad that someone with $150 million US and a super-hot boyfriend still isn’t happy … sigh.

Hopefully George will figure out how to save himself and save us from these stupid news stories.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.24.2006
∗ Annoyances, Crushes, Music
∗ Comments (4)

Oh. My. God. What the hell is this???

As if our nation doesn’t have enough to be ashamed of, now we have a 20-year-old, satin-jockey-costume-wearing Miss USA representing us in the Miss Universe pageant. Then again, that may be the Bendryl talking. But I think in the morning, I’ll still find the outfit to be nauseating. Yee-haw.

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.23.2006
∗ Annoyances, Television
∗ Comments (2)