Kevin Richardson, my favorite BSB — that’s Backstreet Boy, thank you very much — has left the group to “pursue other interests.” Sigh.
Back in the day, I was quite the BSB fan, despite being far outside of their target demographic. Kevin always was my favorite because he was (a) old (he’s now 33), (b) the weakest singer so I felt sorry for him and (c) cute.
I really can’t imagine what other interests he’ll be pursuing nor do I see why this decision warranted a news release, but, hey, here’s to the last age-appropriate boy-band interest I’ll ever have …
Today’s work shindig included free rein of the zoo after 6 p.m. I took a free train ride around the grounds and learned a few fun facts.
Me to Ryan: “A giraffe has a 14 inch tongue. I feel cheated.”
Ryan to me: “Oh geez.”
In Ryan’s defense, he can touch the tip of his nose with his tongue. Wink.
Alas, no corn hole toss for me today.
Sadly, we missed the bus to the part of the park with the games and by the time we thought again about going over there, it was too late. Sigh. But to make up for it, I have not one — not one! — but two photos of lemurs … and a group photo in front of a polar bear sunning himself. My friend Denise and I joked that we probably could make a lot of money off of this photo, considering we’re both busty gals and our bosoms were touching. Hey, I ain’t too proud to make a buck. (That’s me on the right, btw, new sassy haircut and all. I only had been sweating for about three hours when this photo was taken, hence my dewy glow.)
I was looking at the list of activities for Friday’s all-employee hoo-ha at the company I work for and one of the items listed was “Corn Hole Toss.”
Say what?
Now I have heard the phrase “corn hole” before, but work is not one of those places.
So I sent an e-mail to my colleagues, asking what in God’s name a corn-hole toss was, thinking it was some bizarre Indiana tradition I missed out on while growing up in Michigan.
No one knew.
An intrepid co-worker found this site about corn hole/corn toss games. Oh my. Apparently, this is the most popular corn hole game in town.
If the rain holds off, you can look forward to photos of Miss Monique and the corn-hole game.
Damn, if that doesn’t sound like a bad porno, I don’t know what does.
At the 2nd job tonight, we were sitting around, bullshitting and trying to stretch the work out. In our little group of seven — aka the “cool kids” of the team lol — it was unanimously decided that I am the most talkative person! (Well, except for the team dipshit, but he doesn’t count.) What the hell? No wonder no one believes me when I say that I am shy!
One of the managers at my job today sent out an e-mail to inform us that the address to access our work e-mail via the web had changed.
This turned into a chain of e-mails, with each respondent trying to outdo everyone else with some crazy tale of how late they were checking e-mail.
“It was working fine last night at 7 p.m.”
“I was able to check e-mail from the airport yesterday evening.”
“I was online at 11:35 p.m. so it must the changeover must have been after then.”
So my colleague sent me a message, using our internal IM client. He wrote, “I get it. They all work 80 hours a week. It’s time to TTP, Bob Seger style.”
I had no idea what he meant.
Any guesses?
“Turn the page.” I nearly peed my pants laughing. In fact, I laughed so hard, our admin called me to ask why I was laughing.
Maybe you had to be there. But it was really fucking clever.
Usually when I do my part-time job, it drains me. This time around, it’s actually been kind of fun. I’m working with a good group of people. There’s this one 24-year-old guy — I’ll call him Ian, because he reminds me of an Ian — who used to be signed with a modeling agency but his career never went anywhere. He’s one of those types that it’s always someone else’s fault. Like, he had a job at a bar for a few days but then his buddy talked him into leaving his shift early to go meet some girls. Shockingly, the bar no longer required his services. Then he showed up hungover at his job at a car dealership and got fired because he couldn’t do his job. He was telling us that he wants to go back to NYC, to see if he can make it as a model. We were all half-assed brainstorming ways he could make money, and someone mentioned sperm donation. He said he actually looked into that while he was in college, but they were going to pay him the same rate — $50 per pop, so to speak — as they pay everyone else, and with his looks and IQ, he just deserved more. I said, “You turned down $50 to jack off?!” The look on his face was priceless (I tend to come across as very sweet and while I wouldn’t say innocent, not nearly as dirty as I am). I’ve been giving him shit for the last week, just because it’s fun, not because I’m interested in him. But it seems to be having an unintended effect, as he seems very intrigued with me. Tonight, he tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey! I have a question for you: What do you think of Monday through Thursday?” I just stared at him, wondering what the hell he meant. “I mean, do you like those days?” he said, “Or are you just working for the weekend?” He was totally serious. I nearly fell out of my chair, guffawing. Not my normal giggle, a guffaw. Visions of Loverboy filled my head. What a dipshit.
Then there’s this other guy, Jason. I didn’t think too much of him when we first started, esp. since I thought he was working with his wife, as they had the same last name and sat together. But I quickly figured out they were brother and sister. He is headed to Harvard Divinity School on scholarship in the fall. He’s very well-read and well-spoken, and funny as hell and, most importantly, open-minded. I don’t know which denomination he’s associated with, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the same one I am (loosely) still tied to. I’m not looking to start anything there, but I may give him my e-mail address. I could use a few more pen-pals lol.
Like I’m sure you care, but whatever.
Can you guess these songs? 50 BE credits to the winner. (Correct answers with song title AND artist take precedence over answers with one or the other.) E-mail your answers to monique(at)whenwewereliars.com.
Name that tune!
- “Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same, when temptation comes, we just look away.”
- “You aint’ a beauty, but hey, you’re all right.”
- “Did I make you cry? Please tell me why.”
- “I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.”
- “We’re too young to reason, too grown up to dream.”
- “You say you want diamonds in a ring of gold.”
- “Love. I get so lost sometimes.”
- “Show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream, she said.”
- “She is all that I have left, and music is her name.”
- “I like cream in my coffee. I like to sleep late on Sundays.”
Extra-credit question:
“Sometimes I get this crazy dream and I just take off in my car. But you can travel on 10,000 miles and still stay where you are.”
HINT: All singers are male.
