I love me my self-help books. Usually they’re a whole lot of hoo-ha, but I feel better in the short-term and it’s better for me than chocolate. Usually.
Anyway, I felt like a total blog-celebrity a while back when I received an e-mail from a guy who coordinates web marketing. He was promoting a new book, “Why You’re Still Single: Things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad” by Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes, and asked me if I’d like a free copy to review it on this site. I thought, why not? If it was crappy and I couldn’t say something nice, then I figured I’d just send the book back.
I. Loved. It.
It is a dating book that makes sense. None of this “don’t ever call a man” crap. No “keep your legs crossed for-evah and evah” nonsense. No, this book actually addresses single people as rational, intelligent people who just happen to be on their own. And I totally would be saying all this if I had paid for the book.
Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about my new mind-set? This book is what did it for me, this passage in particular:
“Getting angry at a man for staying constant is like getting angry at the sky for staying blue. The Rock is not going to always remember to ask about your day when you come home from work, and The Artist is not always going to have the strength to keep it to himself if he hasn’t sold any sculptures. If you are dating The Rock, appreciate him for the emotionless pillar that he is. If that’s not good enough because you feel safe but you don’t feel connected, that’s fine. … Attempting to turn one of these guys into your closest confidante is like trying to turn your closest confidante into one of these guys — in other words, it’s a big, honking waste of time.
You’ve heard it before, but I’ll say it again: Love him or leave him. Because no man can be all things at all times, no matter how bad you want him to be.” (page 46)
Amen to that.
I really can’t tell you what it is about this book that spoke to me, but it did. I thought it was well-written, interesting and not too far out in left field. Go to www.whyyourestillsingle.com to read more about the book. And I’ll say it again, I’d still be saying all of this even if the book hadn’t been free.
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does it have advice for people who are going into religious professions and thus considered asexual, incapable of romance, “safe,” a religious fanatic and otherwise incapable of “getting it on”? just wondering…
pppbbtthhhh.
Comment by kat - June 12, 2006 12:00 am
Kat’s comment is hilarious. I really must get this book as I’ve heard a lot of good stuff about it. Us women need to get over the ‘I can change him’ syndrome and being annoyed with a guy for being himself instead of the fantasy.
Comment by NML - June 12, 2006 4:40 pm
I can’t wait to check this book out! Thanks Ms Monique!
Comment by Superstar - June 12, 2006 7:48 pm
that wasn’t a “pppbbtthhh” at you, btw. i just realized it might seem like that. it really was a systemic “pppbbtthhh” since in several ways i fear that i am relegated to the land of pastor carls (with or without the extra complexes).
maybe i should get this book and just get the hell over myself.
Comment by kat - June 12, 2006 11:11 pm