I went to my first wedding as a single person today. The bride is a woman I work with; she met her husband last August and was engaged in December. It all seemed so quick, but they both are devout Christians and believe this was God’s plan. And seeing them together, it’s hard to disagree.
She is my age yet refused to “date around,” instead waiting for the right man. She bought a house last fall, before they got too serious. He lives an hour south so they decided she would live with him after the wedding. She put her house on the market, sold it within the first month and didn’t lose any money. The ceremony was lovely and she looked radiant. As someone who knows that wedding vows don’t always ring true, it was refreshing to be in the presence of two people who seem to bring out the best in each other.
The thought of standing in front of my friends and family, taking those vows — knowing full well that I meant every word when I said them on July 18, 1998 — and taking another chance at “forever” made my chest constrict. It is going to take a strong and patient man to get me anywhere near an altar again, that’s for sure.
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Monique on 05.13.2006 
Maybe it was the year…D day for me was October 18, 1998.
I walked the entire length of the church to the altar wanting to vomit but by the end of the ceremony I had convinced myself that it probably wouldn’t be that bad…as usual I was wrong.
I will never say never but I really don’t think I am the type of person who should be married…and if anything, I should probably try to figure out exactly what type of person I am before I even attempt any level of commitment.
I think it’s the whole vow thing in general that really creeps me out…’to love, honor and cherish all the days of my life’ isn’t exactly realistic nor is ’til death do us part’…well, I’d love to honor that one but turns out I’m not the type of person who would do well in prison either…lol.
Comment by Izzy - May 13, 2006 9:18 pm
My friend Chris and I were laughing today about that old MeatLoaf song: “I’m gonna love you ’til the end of time … and now I’m praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you.” lol
I knew it was over, for me, when I would wish that maybe he wouldn’t come home whenever he was late. ; )
Comment by Monique - May 13, 2006 9:25 pm
I actually choose to go to weddings alone or with a girlfriend. I think it’s more fun that way since my “baby’s daddy” doesn’t dance. The last wedding I went to was for a good girl as well. College sweethearts, the smartest and nicest people I know, just meant for eachother. I think when you find the guy that gets you to the alter, there will be no chest constricting. If there is- he’s not the guy. Take a tip from Izzy and if you feel like she did stop. Just thinking of her face as she came down the aisle makes me laugh!!(although it’s probably not funny to her!) Picture someone who is afraid of heights being carted to the very top of the highest hill on a roller coaster for the very first time, all while trying not to make a sound.
I guess it’s not a good sign when your matron of honor asks if you think you should even be getting married and you reply “but the invitations already went out.” ~Jackie
Comment by Anonymous - May 14, 2006 10:52 am