So my goal this weekend was to get laid.

I failed.

Damn, I was pissed. I mean, with my work schedule and all, Sunday would have been about my only opportunity for the next 10 days or so. But apparently my 18,000 hints (roughly) didn’t work on Ryan, as he said I wasn’t “explicit” enough in my hints as he didn’t pick up on them. Whatever. I finally asked him if I was this annoying when he wanted sex and I didn’t feel like putting out, because his glib attitude was really getting on my nerves.

Anyway Sunday a.m., Ryan e-mailed me and asked me to save the Lowes and Home Depot ads from the Sunday paper for him, as he was in the market for a new grill. We chatted for a while; then he texted me when the Red Wings game started (they lost, boo); then we talked some more later in the afternoon. He told me he had to wash his car, go to the grocery, and get to the airport to pick up a friend, all within a 90-minute span, effectively shutting the door on my sextastic Sunday plans (I was going out in the evening with friends).

I decided to run some errands, but before I left home, I realized that if I didn’t drop off the ads to Ryan then, I wouldn’t be able to until Saturday, when it would basically be a moot point. So I put the ads, along with a book I had borrowed, in a bag that I planned to leave on his porch.

I got to Ryan’s neighborhood — I hadn’t called to say I was stopping by and I NEVER drop in unannounced — and saw a familiar car in front of his house. Ryan’s old car. The car his dad now drives.

Fuck.

So I parked in front of the house and sat there. Then I thought, Damn it, I have been sleeping with this guy for nearly 18 months. What the fuck am I nervous about? lol

But I was really hoping Ryan wouldn’t answer the door.

Which, of course, meant that he DID open the door when I rang — and his dad was right there too.

Ryan told me later they were expecting the bitchy realtor hosting an open house next door, which is why (a) Ryan looked so surprised to see me and (b) his dad was at the door too, as they had gotten into it with the realtor earlier.

Really, I’m not sure whose mouth fell open further, mine at seeing Ryan’s dad or Ryan’s at seeing me.

I handed Ryan the bag and told him what was inside. Ryan’s dad asked if I brought brownies. I managed to laugh and say, nope, just the Lowe’s ad.

Meanwhile I am looking stupidly at Ryan. Ryan is looking stupidly at me. Ryan’s dad is grinning at our idiocy.

Anyway after a minute or two of chit-chat, I left.

Not two minutes later, I had a text message from Ryan, apologizing for his idiocy.

Later I received a further apology for (a) not introducing me and (b) not inviting me in. He also said his dad, of course, asked Ryan how he knew me; Ryan, in his idiocy, said I was a “friend.” I’m sure his crack private investigator father fell for that line. But Ryan’s dad said I was cute, so whatever. ; )

I suppose it could have been under worse circumstances. I was fully dressed — casually in a t-shirt and capris, nothing skanky — and Ryan and I were on opposite sides of the door.

Oh, and after all that, Ryan fucking bought a grill in between the times he talked to me and never mentioned it.

Ryan and I ended up talking until midnight last night.

As always, who the fuck knows what’s going on there, but whatever. I’m not going to figure it out tonight!

∗ Posted by Monique on 04.24.2006
∗ Uncategorized