What You Feel Is What You Are

and what you are is beautiful.” — Goo Goo Dolls

I have my iTunes on shuffle and “Slide” just popped on. This song makes me happy. It’s Friday night, I’m home and there’s no place else I want to be. This past week wiped me out, and to top it off, today I found out that I have to pay twice as much as I thought I did at closing of the sale of the house the ex and I shared. I honestly thought I would faint when the ex called me today to break the news. But the house is nearly sold, and maybe my parents will send me a couple hundred bucks. Doubtful, but still …

I signed up to walk in a 5k on St. Patrick’s Day. No big deal, except I barely moved more than I had to over the last month, between my week of post-break-up depression and the ensuing 2 1/2 week sinus infection. But I hung in there for 2.25 miles today. I listened to part of “Shopgirl,” read by Steve Martin, on my iPod. I like his voice. I should sign up for another race or two. I need goals. Completing a 5k was the first goal I set out to achieve after that “Unstuck” workshop I went to in January, but I didn’t plan to do it until the summer. I have never competed in an athletic event before, outside of forced participation in gym class. I have never been sporty and the thought that people may look at me and say, oh, look at the fat girl trying, well, ugh. But I’m sick of being the fat girl and getting my ass of the couch is the only way to do anything about it. My friend, who is a runner, told me that there’s a local half-marathon in October and they accept walkers too. I’m going to sign up for that. Eight months is enough time to go from 2 miles to 13. Besides, I’ve just told all of you guys so there’s my peer pressure. ; )

Hey, if you haven’t clicked on my personality grid, please do so. I’m interested to see what y’all think of me, knowing me only from this blog.