I am so tired. Physically, emotionally drained. Between this three-week sinus infection, dealing with Mark, not eating, I guess I can’t be surprised. But it all came to a head tonight.

First, I got an e-mail from Brian, who thank God, does not know my last name or where I live.

“What the hell are you talking about? I was emotionally exhausted last night! I am dealing with the hardest thing ever. You will need to understand that. I am sorry i did not call last night. But i dont know how in the world you could say anything to me, especially after you little 3 week stunt.”

I have no idea what he is talking about. He just called, too, I let it go to VM. Freakin’ psycho.

At 4:30 p.m., a VP who is not my boss asked me for help on a project she and my boss had been working on. I am responsible for ensuring materials fit our branding standards, and the customer — who is receiving some fabulous stuff for FREE — was pitching a fit. So I had to get on a call with a sales person to figure out what was going on, highlight the changes and then make the changes “right away.” I got it done in less than an hour but was totally stressed out about it.

Then I had to go over to my old house, where the ex put out the last remaining items I had there. I haven’t lived there in over a year but the divorce was amicable and I haven’t been in a huge hurry to clear everything out. Well. the pile was much larger than I expected, and it took me several trips in 20-degree, windy weather to put it all in my car. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it all, and most of it still is in my car because it was too cold to unload it. Of course he left all of these mementos out for us, like a wooden plate that I had commissioned with our names and anniversary date on it. I took most of it, I didn’t want to take the time to go through it all there. The closing on the house is the 28th and I am so ready. I’m sad but damn, I am ready to be done with the life I had with him.

So I got home, ordered a pizza because damn it, I’ve lost 7 lbs in two weeks and I f-ing wanted pizza. By the time I went to Blockbuster, got the pizza and got home, it was 7 p.m. I checked my work e-mail because I’ve learned the hard way that when I don’t, surely something will have happened that is a total disaster. Yep, tonight was one of those nights. We have a customer who is difficult, to put it mildly. I had a red-flag e-mail from him, and CC’d were my senior director, another director, God and everyone. So I had to respond to him, but not before I burst into tears.

Mind you, the past few weeks notwithstanding, I am not really a crier. I mean, I cry every month at least once when I have PMS but that’s about it. And the thing is that no one who reads his insane e-mail is going to think I did anything wrong. I didn’t get the final text until 4:59 p.m., and because I was working on the other “rush” project, thought this one could wait until morning.

I’m sick of it. I want a vacation but I don’t know what I’d do. Maybe another day at the beauty college is in my future …

On the plus side, I heard from Jesse today. He asked twice in four sentences how I’d been. I’ll respond tomorrow but I do think he’s too busy to give me the attention I require. I still wouldn’t mind seeing him again. He’s adorable as hell. Plus he makes a lot of $$. ; )