Mark met some of my closest friends last night. The occasion was my employer’s annual par-tay; it’s a big event, held at a hotel, so I hosted my second-annual “pre-party,” complete with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. I had about 12 people over and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

Mark was very quiet while everyone was at my place. I think part of it was that we were talking about people he didn’t know coupled his with shyness and his hearing loss. But once we got to the party itself he started to warm up and was cracking jokes; I think it helped that we were then in a smaller group. One lecherous exec who works on my floor saw Mark and actually said, “And who is this???” I’m sure I’ll hear more about it from her tomorrow at the office. Bi-atch.

We left the party about 10 p.m. and ended up seeing “Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World” with Albert Brooks. It had some funny parts but, overall, I was disappointed. This morning we went out for breakfast — one thing I miss about Michigan is all of the mom-and-pop restaurants there. I love coney islands, little places where you can get cheap food. Where I live, if it’s not a chain restaurant, it ain’t here. I’m sure there are locally owned places, I just don’t know where they are. Spending $18 + tip at Bob Evan’s just doesn’t seem worth it.

On another topic, I’m trying to understand how men express emotion. I’m used to dealing with my ex, whom I was with for 8 years, and could see the things that he would do to show that he cared. Now I feel like I’m learning a second language. Mark is a do-er. Like today, my garage door opener wasn’t working — because I, um, hit one of the guides — and he hopped out of the car and realigned it. Of course I would love to be told every day how fabulous I am and how much he cares for me, but I also know how difficult it is for me to express emotion and, as a woman, I’m socialized to do so. I’m not sure how men, who are told to hide their feelings from such an early age, do it. I’m trying to look for the more subtle clues, like how he takes my hand or puts his arm around me, or the way he tenderly kisses my forehead. Today we were napping, with me lying with my head on his chest and he had his arm around me. I told him that I had missed being with him like this and sharing a bed with him … he smiled and pulled me closer. I’ll take it …

∗ Posted by Monique on 01.22.2006
∗ Uncategorized