Monique: You make me really want to open up to you. The ever-present threat of sarcasm is enough to scare me off.
Mark: Don’t try to change me baby.
Monique: seriously?
Mark: I’m sorry. I was kidding. Feel free to open up.
Monique: the moment has passed
Mark: When do I ever say anything in seroiusnes?
Mark: what the hell kind of word was that?
Mark: it’s i before e
Mark: among other problems
Monique: so, in all seriousness, what do you think of all this? do you think it’s working?
Monique: we seem to be one big communication problem
Mark: I don’t know…I like you very much…You’re wonderful and intelligent, witty, fun to be with, beautiful…
Mark: Is it my fault
Mark: ?
Monique: I actually sent you a letter b/c I didn’t think we’d talk this weekend. It’s not easy for me to open up or to talk about my emotions to begin with, and I feel like we should know each other better than we do.
Monique: But I like you a lot. I want to get to know you and I want you to know me.
Mark: I understand. I do.
Mark: did you send a snail mail letter.
Monique: Yes. Isn’t that quaint? lol
Mark: sweet.
Mark: I’ll keep my eyes peeled.
Monique: I actually went to like three stores trying to find notepaper I thought was appropriate. I’m a paper snob.
Mark: wow. I’m sure it’s nice. I’ll enjoy getting a letter. My first! Would you like to talk about anything in it now?
Monique: It’s not a very long letter, basically the gist of it was what I already said. My ex referred to my parents as the most emotionally closed off people he had ever known and I think that’s pretty accurate. I didn’t grow up with the best role models.
Monique: Like, neither of them actually says, “I love you” to me. It’s “We love you,” like they’re the British royal family lol.
Monique: But to get to the bottom line, talking about my emotions/feelings/even myself sometimes is pretty uncomfortable for me so I tend to avoid it.
Monique: Which does me no good when I meet someone like you.
Mark: I know. It’s tough to confront.
Monique: Do you mean “confront,” like in anger? I can do that. I have more problems when I actually like someone. It’s not like I had an awful childhood or life, but it also wasn’t the greatest … I guess it’s the whole thing of growing up with an alcoholic parent, just pretend that everything is okay.
Monique: That’s kind of what I still stick to, despite my best efforts to the contrary.
Monique: It’s okay if you don’t know what to say.
Mark: We can confront both good and bad things, and I grew up with a brother who went through a lot of tough things, even alcahol. It almost cost him his marrage. There’s a lot of stuff there thats tough to deal with, and no, I actually don’t quite know what to say.
Monique: That’s okay. Sometimes listening is enough.
Monique: Remember when you told me that you wanted someone whose baggage matched yours? lol
Mark: yup
Monique: I guess if there’s anything you want to know about me, you may just have to ask instead of waiting for me to volunteer the information. And that’s just me, not because I don’t trust you or anything like that.
Mark: I know. I guess I’d preferr to have the meaningful conversations in person rather than IM.
Monique: I know, me too. I just wanted to bring this up now instead of stewing over it for a week lol.
Mark: This might be a good time to say goodnight and think about all of this.
Monique: I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I can’t imagine that what I said was too much of a surprise …
Mark: I know. I’ll call you en route to B-Town tomorrow.
Monique: good night then
Mark: Talk to you later…

Who knows …