For your consideration:
Mark left his watch at my apartment a few weeks ago. It still is in my possession.
Do I:
1. Ship the watch back to him?
2. Tell him if he wants it, he can pick it up at my office building?
The facts:
1. The watch was a college graduation gift.
2. He lives 45 minutes from where I live/work.
3. He broke up with me last Saturday in an incredibly tacky manner.
I am torn. I am concerned about the watch being damaged in shipment, mainly because I don’t want to be responsible for it. On the other hand, I really don’t give a rat’s ass and definitely don’t want to see him again. Please let me know your thoughts.
The items I ordered from Mark arrived today. The box looked like it had been run over by a truck. And the items are so crappy, had we still be together, I would have felt compelled to spend even MORE $ on an additional item.
You have to check out what Dave over at Pile of Dog Bones did to cheer me up!
I nearly fell off my couch.
I am SO hanging this up in my cubicle!!!
If you didn’t know, the title of my blog, “When We Were Liars,” comes from a song called “Running for Home” by the Matthew Good Band. It’s a haunting song, very different from his usual work. Matthew Good is a Canadian artist who didn’t achieve much success in the U.S. but generally is showered with awards and critical respect in his home country. I think the man is a freakin’ genius.
I stumbled across this cover version of “Running for Home” by a young woman named Allison Crowe. Wow. Her version is just as haunting, although in a different way, than the original. Listen here. The file opens in your browser using QuickTime.
Running for Home
They beam things into your head
The ghosts of your pleasure and contempt
When we were liars things were seamless
When we were wired the world was like a secret
I close my eyes now and I scream
I turn the light on and there’s nothing left redeeming
I saw your face before it changed
The gun it makes you look nicer in a bad way
So low for how high?
Well it’s too late tonight
And I’m sure you’re right
As low for how high
And after this there’s just the circus
And every morning you carnie heart stops working
It gets tight in there sometimes
Looking for the defects, talking like it’s a reflex
I close my mouth now and I scream
I open the door and there’s nothing left redeeming
I saw your face before the rough
You should wait around awhile, your body’s bound to turn up
So low for how high?
Well it’s too late tonight
And I’m sure you’re right
As low for how high
I already ordered Mark’s valentine’s day gift.
I placed the order last Sunday, high on the optimism that he wanted to go out during the week.
I bought him a set of fuzzy dice for his car as well as a steering wheel cover (flames, of course). What the hell am I going to do with those?
I couldn’t believe it last night when he told me that there was nothing — nothing! — that he didn’t like about me. I’m everything he should be attracted to (but apparently isn’t). He said he knows he’s screwing up the best thing to happen to him in a long time.
I tried to get laid last night, but Ryan saw right through my unusual assertiveness. He ended up coming over to hang out with me until he went to see a movie with friends. He was over for a little more than an hour. I gave him a brief rundown on Mark, at his request, then we just talked about other stuff. Nothing happened, although we were touching, kinda holding hands, and a few times he laughed and rolled over on top of me. He asked for a hug when he left. It felt nice. I didn’t really want to have sex. I just didn’t want to be alone.
Speaking of Ryan, he’s picking me up in 45 minutes to have lunch and go to the bookstore. He’s being very sweet. I hope I can stop crying by the time he gets here.
I called/e-mailed several friends today to tell them about Mark. It was kind of a chore but I was also glad that I have so many friends to tell! I know I’ll get through this. I’m just sick of going through this.
In other news, my new design should be up and running soon. It’s very “me.” I like it a lot.
Note from Monique: Mark broke up with me tonight. See the previous post, “Dumped.”
On our first date, you gave me two very important pieces of information about yourself. The first was that you “suck” at relationships. No shit. This is inextricably tied to the second piece of information, which was that you experienced some pretty awful things at the hands of a family member. You told me you were “over” that, which, of course, I don’t believe. I can’t get “over” my dad being an alcoholic. I don’t know how you can be “over” what you experienced.
In the two months that I knew you, it seemed to me like a lot of your personality was shaped by your abuse. You so dislike yourself that you can’t imagine anyone else can like you. I don’t know how many times you told me you had no idea why I was dating you. There were only one-night stands in the period of time between me and your last girlfriend, who ended things two years ago. You didn’t seem to want to progress emotionally beyond a superficial level. You experienced sexual dysfunction on a regular basis, and I even wondered if you had an eating disorder.
When I had doubts about a month in and told you if you didn’t feel about me like you should, then was the time to end things, you told me I was beautiful and we had a connection you hadn’t felt with anyone else. A few weeks later, when I almost broke up with you because of your sarcasm, you again listed off all of the things you liked about me. You had so many opportunities to end things instead of acting like this relationship was working for you.
Last Sunday, when you asked me to have dinner with you on Wednesday, I was pleased because I thought you were getting more comfortable with the idea of “us.” I didn’t know you were going to f-ing break up with me. And you said you wanted to tell me in person, so why didn’t you tell me Sunday? You know, it always bothered me that you talked so much about yourself and didn’t ask me that many questions about me. They way you broke up with me is just another example of your self-centered attitude.
Here’s the deal: You need help. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were clinincally depressed. Don’t f-ing tell me how wonderful I am but that there are no “bells and whistles,” even after you oh-so-patiently waited for them to appear. If being with me was so awful for you, why did you keep initiating intimate contact with me? So I would be f-ing embarassed that you couldn’t get it up?
You taught me a valuable lesson, that’s for damn sure.
He dumped me.
He f-ing had me drive 45 minutes to his house so he could dump me.
I’m beautiful, I’m amazing, there’s nothing about me that he doesn’t like. He just doesn’t feel like he should.
Oh and he’s known this for a while. He was just waiting, waiting for the “bells and whistles.”
He was going to tell me Wednesday. That’s why he wanted to have dinner with me. He first mentioned us getting together mid-week LAST SUNDAY.
What an f-ing coward. What a coward!
My brother is a third-degree black belt in tae kwon do. My mom has her first-degree back belt. She also has an unnatural love for all things Chuck Norris. So it was with great glee that my brother sent and I read the following “Chuck Norris” e-mail. I don’t know where it came from or who wrote it, but it, my friends, is pure round-house-kicking genius. While you’re at it, check out the “Young Chuck Norris” video from “Saturday Night Live.” Fan-freakin-tastic.
Oh wow, there is an entire Web site devoted to Chuck Norris facts. Screw the e-mail, just go to this site!
A few weeks ago I applied to return to school for a second bachelor’s degree, this one in tourism and event management. I received my acceptance letter today. : ) Yay. Now I just have to see how many of credits transfer because I don’t want to sit through History 101 again!
Mark and I had dinner downtown tonight with my co-worker/friend who lives out of town. A few other people joined us. Mark was very friendly and social, and totally charmed everyone … I was happy that it was such a pleasant evening. On the way home I was thinking that he and I are starting to feel more like a couple … not that I’m taking anything for granted, butI feel a bit more secure in things, like I know that he likes me and don’t have to at least worry about that anymore.
We’re going to go out on Saturday — I’ll probably head down to his place — I’m looking forward to seeing him again already.
I feel so boring. It’s cold here and windy as all get out. I officially have the mid-winter blahs.
To make matters worse, my usual five-mile commute will be more like 30 for the next three days, as I have to go downtown for incredibly dull and boring meetings.
On the bright side, Mark asked me to have dinner with him tomorrow night. It will be nice to see him during the week.
Too bad we won’t be able to make out like demons. Not like we haven’t done that in the car before, but 20-degree weather is a bit chilly for me.
Here’s to hoping your life is more exciting than mine …
