Friends

I just got home from my part-time job and damn it, I am going to savor my special day as it winds down.

There are 29 minutes left in my birthday.

I love birthdays. I don’t mind getting older because it means that I’m alive and if I’m alive, I have things to be thankful for.

Today, I’m most thankful for my friends.

In my previous life as a desperately unhappy married woman, I didn’t have too many friends. I was too miserable, too afraid to let another person in. Funny how a major depressive spell can put an end to that. When I stopped acting like everything was all right, my life became better. I’ve learned how to open up and to trust more over the past year. I’m even starting to see myself, sometimes, the way that my friends do.

Because my entire family is in another state, I had to start over when I moved here seven years ago. Really, my only place to make friends was at work … and it’s turned out really well. My co-workers are great … and I’d say 90% of the time, work doesn’t interfere with ther friendships. I was overwhelmed this morning when I got to my desk and had four birthday cards and presents! Other co-workers called to wish me happy birthday. Another sent me probably the funniest card I’ve ever received. It was a good day.

As I sit here thinking about all of the blessings in my life, I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. I never thought I would be so content, sitting in my one-bedroom apartment with my two cats.

To borrow Sally Field’s much-mocked Oscar-acceptance speech, “I like me! I really do!”

Nineteen minutes left.

It’s taken me 31 years but I finally believe I’m special. This year is going to be different. I’m not accepting inauthentic people or behaviors in my life. That starts with MJCF, who totally blew my birthday off. Miss Monique is going to let his loser ass know that there is competition for my affections … and MJCF is losing by a long shot.