Finally … a breakthrough! MJCF and I had an actual “deep” conversation and he - finally! - told me that he likes me.

He told me months ago that he had never been in love, which always has concerned me. I saw it as a sign of his unwillingness to open himself emotionally to someone else. We were talking about relationships last night, and about us, I guess in a roundabout way, and I decided to gently press the issue. He told me that he only has really dated three women … and added that he considers me to be #3. (This is a drastic change from six months ago, when he told me that he didn’t consider us to be dating or even really friends. Needless to say, that instigated one of many “breaks.”)

So I told him that I was never sure how he felt about me, that he sends mixed signals. And he admitted that, saying that he had an idea of what he would like to happen but wasn’t totally sure. I knew what he meant, as I’m still not totally sure how I want him in my life. I told him that, the way I saw it, we clearly like each other, we enjoy each other’s company, and even if neither of us is sure what we want, we both seem to want to see where “this” is going, and he agreed with me.

I could tell he had really put some thought into “us.” He said thinking about how we started — supposed to be a one-night stand — made his head spin sometimes; I pointed out how long it’s lasted and how it’s evolved. He also said he didn’t think we had a lot in common, which I think used to be true, but it’s really your morals and values that matter. Then I expressed my reseverations, like the age difference (I’m five years older), which he quickly countered. So in the end we decided to get to know each other better and to become friends (albeit not “just friends” lol I’m no fool).

But, even before all of this, he asked me to have lunch with him tomorrow, as I have an appointment over by his office. I’m excited. We set up the plans this afternoon, e-mailing back and forth a bunch of times, of course. He’s also going to come over tomorrow night to help me out with a few things …

I feel a lot better knowing where things stand, even if that isn’t even really clear. At least he knows I care for him and I know he cares for me.

∗ Posted by Monique on 09.27.2005
∗ Uncategorized