I’m feeling sorry for myself.

I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of clinical depression, and I know how I’m feeling now isn’t that. I’m just pitying myself because (1) I’m broke (2) because I overspent (3) because I’m lonely (4) because … well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

My profile is posted on a well-known dating site. Over the past few weeks, I’ve receieved e-mails from several men, most of whom I’ve e-mailed back. The exchanges may last for a few days or a week but then … nothing. No dates, no drinks, no phone calls.

I don’t know whether to think the problem is me or them. Do I seem too eager? Or disinterested? Are they busy? Or just seeing who’s out there?

I try to tell myself that it’s not really me that’s being rejected — it’s the idea of me that I’ve expressed in a few hundred words.

I don’t know.

I just need to buck up.

Or maybe I should wallow in my blue mood for a few more days.

I may be lonely, but at least I know I’m not alone.

In the words of my beloved Matthew Good, “This ain’t real baby, I’ve got a better excuse for myself. I’m always here.”

∗ Posted by Monique on 07.20.2005
∗ Uncategorized